The Shark's Peculiar Mission
by SoundCloud
Summary: Kisame tries to prove he's straight. Kurenai seems like a good canidate to prove himself with. But she's not too happy about it. For: Shikabane-Mai...Chapter 5 up!
1. I'm not gay, Konan

_Hello, everyone. See? I'm not dead. Told ya so._

* * *

Prologue: "I'm not Gay, Konan"

Living with eleven (though now the numbers have dwindled down..) mostly good-looking men... most women would take advantage of such a situation. Konan never thought of it that way. In her opinion it was curse to live with such demented souls...rejects of society and their village.

All though the whole bad-boy thing had turned her on in the beginning, by now she was so used to it that she never even talked to the others much anymore. Except Pein but that was strictly professional...

Yet she couldn't get why the other members of the Akatsuki had never taken a liking to _her_. She wasn't so vain as to think she was irresistible, but she had to give it to herself: she wasn't bad looking.

As she poured herself a glass of milk she took in the silence of the cold kitchen. It was raining outside and despite it being mid-afternoon the sky was anything but bright.

As she sipped the white liquid quietly she twirled a piece of her short hair with one of her pale fingers. Someone was coming. As an Akatsuki member you didn't need to hear footsteps to know if someone was getting too close.

She couldn't help but recall those rainy nights in that abandoned building in the Rain Country... During the war she always hated it when she thought she heard someone coming in. As a little girl she'd cry until Pein came to her side and told her to be quiet because no one was going to hurt her if they couldn't find her.

Konan put her childish fears aside and turned to face the kitchen door. She eyed it apprehensively, secretly wondering if any other Akatsuki members were in the hideout. Probably, she forced herself to believe. Who else could it be..?

Yes, it was just another member of the Akatsuki. And since Orochimaru left, she never had to worry about running into him in the dark anymore. Although she never favored running into Kakazu alone either...

She then noticed something that made her sca- no, not scared.. _Uneasy,_ again. Because she just remembered Pein had stepped out on personal business. And she was alone. Not good.

Nothing good ever came from an Akatsuki member alone...

"Wat'cha thinking about?"

Konan dropped her glass and almost screamed just then. But she didn't. As the glass shattered she bit her pierced lip and turned around to throw a paper shuriken where the man had just been standing a second before.

He was gone.

She cursed softly but was rather proud of herself. Most women wouldn't have been able to take a shark-man appearing suddenly behind them when they were standing alone in the dark without going into hysterics. But then, she wasn't like most women.

"Heh, scared you, eh?" came the voice again. He was behind her again but a few feet away this time as opposed to right against her.

She growled and turned to face the sneering man, a scowl on her face.

"Kisame," she addressed him, her eyes narrowing with disgust, more directed at his actions than him but still she also had a special dislike for each of the members who went out of their way to annoy her. "The hell are you doing here?"

"Yes, I know it's been a while and I've missed you too. I've been fine, thanks for asking," came the calm, sarcastic reply. The blue-gray haired woman made a face, impatient, unamused.

"So where's your boyfriend?" she sneered trying to not let him get away with acting cool.

"If you mean Itachi, he's off fighting his brother,"

"Aw...miss him?" she cooed smirking. But to her dismay he didn't flinch.

"Well, I'm sure you've noticed that Akatsuki members don't feel comfortable being alone," he replied, not ashamed to admit it.

"Get another boyfriend," came the cool reply. And to her pleasure he sighed. She had gotten to him. No... it was too early for that... He usually didn't give in till later on. There must be something wrong with him. He certainly looked tired and rather green around the gills- not exactly a figure of speech.

"Konan," he said, and now she could tell he hadn't go much sleep the past few days. She almost pitied him. Almost.

"You _know_ I don't have a boyfriend, I've never had one, and I don't ever want one, right?"

"The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one," she replied simply. "Denial won't get you anywhere,"

The shark-nin sighed again and shook his head. He looked down at the floor and smirked grimly.

"Nice," he referred to the broken glass and white liquid. Konan scowled again.

"Your fault," she replied with disdain.

"Of course it is..."

After a moment of silence (that Kisame privately dedicated to Sasori) the sole female member thought she'd lighten the mood.

"That glum look makes you look even more gay than usual," she commented, walking to the cabinet to get another glass. They were running low, she mused grimly, as she took a glass from among the three remaining. Kakuzu would be mad she'd broken one, but he wouldn't be able to say anything. After all, how many things had he broken alone with his violent fits? His partner, too, had a bad habit of breaking things when he was angry.

He looked up at her and raised and eyebrow half-heartedly.

"Ok, and how come you never bugged Orochimaru about his homosexuality?" he asked, wondering why _he_ had to be the target of the woman's attitude.

"Because it was obvious and he never tried to deny it," came the simple reply.

"And you were scared of him,"

She frowned disdainfully. "Creeped out. There's a difference,"

"I see... and don't I creep you enough to make you leave me alone,"

She blinked boredly. "No, why?"

"Kami, Konan. I'm freaking part _shark_," Kisame sighed exasperatedly rubbing his temples. "Doesn't that _bother_ you?"

"No. Why should it? Big deal if you're part shark," came the casual reply. Konan was now taking out a mop. "Sasori was mostly _wood_,"

"You thought his human form was hot," Kisame replied dryly.

"..." there was a pause. "...well he was," Konan replied quietly as she cleaned up the mess.

Another pause...then:

"...are you a lesbian, Konan?" Kisame asked out of the blue. The young woman almost dropped the mop and her eyes went wide with disbelief.

"Y-_You're _asking_ me _if I'm straight or not?" she demanded furiously standing up. Kisame backed up with a surprised look. Had he said something wrong?

"Yes?"

He stepped back to avoid her slap.

"How dare you?"

"I'm just saying you _say _guys are hot I've never shown any interest in them- not even Pain-sama,"

"Maybe I'm not interested in you freaks!" the girl looked like she was about to give him the worst paper cuts of his life. "And when was the last time _you've_ had a relationship?"

"Well, I'm just saying I probably could get a boyfriend easier than you,"

Oh God. _Had he just said that? _A look of horror came across his pale-blue face as Konan obtained an evil grin.

"I knew it,"

"I-I didn't mean it like that," Kisame tried hastily.

"You really are-

"I'm _not_, Konan," Kisame insisted.

"Prove it," Konan smirked. Her cocky smirk suddenly left her as the shark-nin moved forward and embraced her. She stood in shock before coming to her senses and began furiously struggling. She kicked and struggled and finally pushed him away.

"What the hell?"

"That flower makes you look hot, Konan," Kisame said with a sharp-toothed grin. She looked ready to knee him where it hurts.

"Not with me, you homo! That's not what I meant!"

Kisame laughed softly. "You're right. I'm not interested in girls like you,"

"And by that you mean girls in general?"

"No, I mean lesbians,"

He actually has to use the Samehada to block the kunai she threw. She cursed at him.

"I also don't appreciate foul language...or piercings,"

"You're gay,"

Kisame sighed again. He couldn't beleive he was going to do this. Oh well, with weasel away, the shark would play. He didn't think Itachi would mind as logn as he didn't get into too much trouble.

"I'll prove to you I'm not." and with that he turned around and headed for the door.

In the darkness, Konan blinked.

"W-where are you going?" she asked dumbfounded.

"..." Kisame didn't turn around but she knew he was grinning. And she couldn't beleive it when he answered. "Konoha,"

* * *

_"He has not known life, he who has not known love; and his destiny he is yet to find." - Phumza Mafela._

* * *

**Yeah, this is for Shikabane-Mai...i'm sorry...I know I'm a thousand years late, but it took me forever to come up with a plot that would fit in KisamexKurenai...Sorry, the prolouge's short too. I'll try to put up the first chapter soon...**


	2. You work too hard, Shizune

Chapter 1: "You work to hard, Shizune"

_"Love feels no burden, regards not labors, strives toward more than it attains, argues not of impossibility, since it believes that it may and can do all things."** -**Thomas à Kempis_

* * *

"Yeah Itachi's going to kill me," there was a calm, sharp-toothed grin on the shark-man's face despite the dark statement. Okay, maybe not kill, but the Uchiha was definitely not going to be happy upon his return. Kisame could just imagine it now. He knew Konan would be tickled pink to get to be the one to tell the raven-haired boy just how bad- and _where_- he had screwed up. Wait, _tickled pink_?

_"Kami, no wonder she thinks I'm-_

"Is that really all you have to say?"

His thoughts were interrupted by a feminine voice. The blue-skinned man lifted his gaze from the concrete floor to take in his prison guard. She was sitting in the same type of wooden chair as he except _she _didn't have her hands tied behind her back. He could see her lithe frame vaguely through the bars but her face was hard to make out in the dim light. The dress accented her lean body quite nicely though, he noted thoughtfully.

"Would you like me to say more?"

"Sure, That'd be great," came the disdainful reply. Apparently the woman was none too fond of him but apparently willing to hear any information about his organization that he might let slip.

"Nah, I'm fine thank you,"

He raised his head a little more. Through the dark her white teeth were visible as she scowled.

"So isn't an Anbu agent supposed to be guarding me?" one might say his talkative attitude might be leading to deception. The truth was, he was just bored and wanted some conversation- something rarely received during his time with his quiet partner. Kisame was the only people person in the Akatsuki- except for Tobi but that was just..well, Tobi.

He tried in vain to remember what happened, but all exact memories escaped him. It was kind of just a blur actually. He could faintly recall an ambush while he was resting and there had been Anbu agents and he hadn't been on his game that night- was it the same night? he had just regained consciousness and it was just hard to tell from his dark cell? He was obviously underground. Three straight days of sleepless nights could do that to you, he figured. The Akatsuki didn't have a medic, and with Hidan constantly foul-mouthing on how he had screwed up a ritual and the healing wasn't going right _someone _had to make a few medicine raids. (Kakuzu had been all for letting him die- it was cheaper that way, you see- but the former Mist nin decided to spare the Jashinist this little fact. Not that he thought it would bother him too much. _"Screw him, that Kakuzu!"_ he could hear the albino man's would-be response already...).

Anyways. Kisame also was able to recall exploding notes- or something like that- being tagged all over him as they held him down. As they were doing this, the exhausted man wondered who had ratted him out. There was no way this could be an accident. Maybe one of his own tipped these guys off? Even Tobi wouldn't go that far for a joke and Deidara lacked the patience for a well thought out plan. (The azure-hair man also concluded that Konan probably didn't hate him _that _much). So then who was it then?

"How do you know you're not looking at one?"

The woman obviously had a knack for interrupting his trains of thoughts. '_Like Konan'_, he thought.

"Sorry, I always figured all the Black Ops agents to be guys," he admitted sheepishly.

"..." (he could actually _feel _her glaring at him and if looks could attack...well, he was almost glad their were metal bars between them). "Yuugao would take that personally,"

"Who?"

"Nevermind,"

* * *

"So what are we going to do about him?" the wood-element user asked formally. He had led the ambush himself- the task had felt quite odd after the short break he had spent with Team Kakashi. (He sort of missed having someone protest or question his commands).

"T-Tsunade-sama?" Shizune inquired tentatively when the Hokage failed to look up.

"We're going to let him go," the answer seemed so simple and so final and so easily decided that it took a moment for it to sink in before-

"What?" both special jounin exclaimed in disbelief.

"Think about it!" the last Sannin defended hotly. "For now we're trying to keep the Akatsuki at bay till we've prepared a solid plan. What do you think they'll do if they find out we're holding one of their own?"

A solemn look was their only answer.

"He'll be allowed to leave, but," Tsunade continued firmly though she seemed to ease up a bit. "But if he chooses to stay then he'll be put on special guard."

"Special guard?" the dark-haired medic repeated, frowning. She was still recovering from the shock.

The fifth hesitated, as if not liking the idea herself- curse those two old bags! damn council!. She reluctantly answered, "A special guard, as in a formal escort. As Shikamaru is for the Sunagakure ambassador."

There was another uncomfortable moment of silence as the decision sunk in. Then-

"Would you like me to-" Yamato stopped abruptly as the Godaime shook her head.

"You need to keep an eye on Naruto while Kakashi's away," she answered in away that meant no questions. "The Anbu will of course be keeping an eye on him from a distance but will not get any closer than necessary."

After some consideration she had figured a female ninja would be best suited to the mission only because opposite-sex escorts seemed to keep the peace better. That was evident in the results of choosing the Nara as the Kazekage's sister's guide.

"Till further notice, the mission is assigned to Yuuhi Kurenai," and the First's daughter's words were final.

"Er..T-Tsunade-sama-"

"What is it now, Shizune?" said person demanded impatiently.

"Eh, Kurenai-san's going out this afternoon. She has a sick aunt near the border. You said weeks ago that she'd be allowed to visit..."

The look her boss was giving her sent chills down Shizune's spine and a slightly frightened look came to her face as she trailed off.

"Then _you'll _take over for her while she's away!" Tsunade exclaimed evilly.

"Nyaaaahh?" there was that signature panicked look of hers.

The wood user patted her back sympathetically as he led the devastated and still in-shock assistant out of the office.

* * *

"If you keep glaring at me like that I'll start to get the feeling you don't like me," the blue-haired man commented saucily as his jail-keepers were changed again. The pleasant dress woman had left for a little while and some guy who was using a senbon terribly inappropriately- I mean, as a freakin_ toothpick_ for Kami's sake! Didn't his mother ever teach him not to put sharp objects in his mouth?- had taken over. Kisame had decided he preferred the woman better. At least she talked a little, even it was in a 'I-really-dislike-you-you-know' tone.

Her eye twitched and Yuuhi Kurenai fought to keep her patience. She unlocked the cell and formed a release sign with her hands. The chakra ropes fell away limp and Kisame stood, immediately flexing them, opening his blue palms and fingers. They felt a little stiff as did his rear, although he was used to sitting for long periods of time since the Jinchuriki sealing always took three damned days.

"You're letting me go?" there was a surprised but somewhat pleased tone in his voice as he looked over at her.

_"Probably,"_ he figured. _"That's the only reason they should be letting me out. Unless I got a death sentence or somethin...Crap. I'll have to fight my way out of that one.. can I take on a whole Anbu force.? Probably Not. Damn."_

The expression on her face wasn't very encouraging.

"This isn't my idea," the kunoichi replied with disdain. She pursed her lips; it was obvious she wasn't too thrilled about the decision. So that probably meant she was disappointed, which in turn meant he was going to be let off lightly. He almost let out a relieved sigh. It wasn't he couldn't take on these Konoha wimps, but the whole village against one Akatsuki member? Hell, even Itachi probably couldn't pull it off. Well, maybe...

The black-haired woman stepped out of the cell and held it open.

"Leave,"

"Ouch," though he really didn't have much objection to it- at least to leaving the cell. He still had a mission to complete after all. Hm, she was kind of attractive.

"I mean," she bit her lip, closing her eyes and clearly hating this. "If you want,"

Now this was curious. "And if I don't?"

Her expression was even more curious to him. It was a bit amusing actually, apparently she had been hoping he wouldn't go there.

"Then," she answered, eyes still closed and through gritted teeth. "Then, I would have to stay with you wherever you go and guard you,"

Curiouser and curiouser.

"Guard me?" things never seemed to get less interesting in this village. A sharp toothed grin was slowly growing on the shark-nin's mouth.

"For some reason everyone's a little unhappy with an Akatsuki member running around in the village."

"Everyone, huh?" he thought about this and arched an eyebrow. "Including you?"

"In all honesty, yes,"

There was a pause then, "I think I'll stay,"

His grin was seriously killing her and they both knew it as she didn't bother trying to suppress her sigh. "I thought you'd say that..."

"Hm, I don't think they hate me _too_ much,"

* * *

Terrified faces stared back at the two as they passed the playground of the Academy.

"You're scaring them. " his 'guard' patronized frowning. "And stop making faces,"

He stopped. It was pretty okay in Konoha, he figured. He'd only been here once before and it wasn't very long. In fact, he'd basically came with Itachi looking for a little blond kid, fought the kunoichi walking beside him- and her boyfriends- and left. His escort by the way, didn't look too shabby herself. She hadn't changed at all since he'd last seen her but it was the first time since he'd gotten a good look at her. Like most kunoichi she was very slim, slender but unlike most skinny girls he'd fought in Kirigakure she at least had a tiny bit shape in her. Her chest was a pretty good attraction point as well. She wore make-up. That was pretty new. It wasn't something you saw too much among kunoichi back home who used _water_ jutsu.

_"The purple eye-shadow really brings out her eyes.."_ he thought mildly. _"Wait, crap- what? Dammit Konan!"_

He thanked the gods the purple-haired female wasn't there right now and that she couldn't read thoughts. Damn, that was just plain gay, even he had to admit it. _"I have to stop watching the fashion channel with her..."_ It wasn't his fault she was the only real company whenever Itachi went away. Zetsu and him had a lot in common but the multiple-personality man never offered much of a conversation. Kakuzu and Sasori kept to themselves and no one really liked to be around Hidan. Deidara was often hiding from Tobi and though Itachi would be there he would just do that, _be_ there. Never got involved, seldom talked. Depressing kid, really.

Anyways, back to her eyes. Blood red. Ah, nice. He'd bet most men would prefer to refer to them as crimson but they were the same and he preferred the more honest of the two adjectives. They were nice though, he had to admit. Exotic yet she made them look feminine. Her black hair was styled pretty interesting as well, it seemed to suit her. She also seemed to have a good fashion sense too- not that Kisame would know of course. Well, all in all, she was pretty hot. Too bad she hated his guts.

"So, where are we going?"

"To meet Shizune at the front gate," her replies were always so prompt, business-like.

"Who?"

An inhale and then an exasperated exhale. She seemed to be doing that a lot, he noted.

"The Fifth's personal assistant,"

"Ah," there certainly wasn't much conversation going on between them. Kisame was sure this Yuuhi Kurenai- she'd given him her name when they left the prisoner hold- had a lot more to say but was holding back on the account that she, well, hated him.

"Hey, Red, do you hate me?"

"You're quite talkative," she noted dryly, glancing at him form the corner of her eye. Those blood-red eyes. "And don't call me that,"

"If I'm going to stay I might as well not be bored," he argued justifiably.

"If you get bored you'll leave?"

"You sound hopeful about that,"

"I am,"

"Has anyone told you you're a very honest person?"

She didn't respond.

_"Heh, guess not,"_ he thought smirking.

"..." he looked at her again, then back at the path they were walking, then at her. "So, when can I have my Samehada back?"

He hadn't realized he was missing it till he'd started walking around. The absence of the familiar weight on his back made him feel sort of naked. _Vulnerable... _This was the third time he'd asked this question and he was about to go into a shark frenzy about it, no pun intended. That sword was all he had damn it! He really hoped the sissy-men who'd taken away had gotten their hands seriously shredded up for handling it. Samehada only allowed _him_ to wield it. His stupid _father _had given it to him... Not that he had any sentimental feelings for his old man but still. After he had been sentenced to death by the Mizukage for a crime he'd been framed for- the Mizukage of course couldn't be allowed to live. Good ol' uncle had it coming but unfortunately never did receive it. Kisame had manged to wipe out- assassinate- the local Mist feudal lords but didn't get to his goal before the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist came along. His attention span, he'd admit, wasn't very long-term.

Yet when the Mizukage had gone missing a couple of years later- when hanging around other guys who cared about their weapons way too much got kind of old- no one had any doubts who the culprit might be. Though, no one had ever got the evidence to prove it till the shreds of their leader's body was found in a lake a couple of weeks later (Kisame didn't favor Sasori's idea of keeping dead bodies). Yet most of the idiots had blamed Momochi Zabuza, for it. Like hell that kid could pull something like that off by himself. The little "Demon of the Mist" talked big but there wasn't much bite under it- under though under those bandages he did have some pretty sharp teeth, pretty impressive but of course they had nothing on his own.

But he digressed. The point was, he _needed_ that sword back.

"I already told you," she frowned at him as if he were some stubborn kid she'd already told no many times to. "No weapons as long as you're in the village,"

"This really sucks, you know that?"

"You could always leave," she offered, smirking slightly.

"Aw, and miss out on your wonderful company?"

She scowled.

* * *

"Now, you better not give Shizune any trouble," Kurenai warned for what seemed to be the twelveth time. They were at the entrance gates now, the mentioned medic nin looking a little nervous about the whole thing.

"Yeah yeah, don't worry," he muttered. He was starting to get kind of irritated about it. Just when he'd started to make progress on his mission the woman leaves. How typical. Oh well, she'd be back. And it never hurt to have a back-up plan. Besides, he glanced casually at the short-haired woman and gave her a once over. She looked like she was in her late twenties but still had a cute face, childish almost.

"Don't worry," he informed the smallish woman. She seemed to tense, an alarmed look coming to her dark eyes as he spoke to her. "I don't bite,"

As a comical panicked look began to come to her face, a sharp backhand was administered to his right shoulder and he turned a little to look at his assaulter. This was a first, the red-eyed woman had never physically touched him till this point though there had been a couple of moments in their banter exchanging on the way here that made it seem as if she'd seriously like to slap him upside the head. He knew this because the look on her face was identical to the one Konan would get just before she threw a paper bird at him (often ones with a sharp beak and sharper talons).

"_Behave_," her eyes narrowed and he answered her warning demur with a sharp-toothed grin but no verbal response.

"Take care," he raised a hand in a mock-farewell as Kurenai headed North.

* * *

"So are you sure you're a ninja?" he asked his new escort glad that the old one was out of sight.

A small frown came across her face and she gave him a questioning look. By now he'd already concluded she was indeed very cute. Her body was a little hard to decipher under that dark blue robe thing but he figured she was pretty well rounded. He preferred women like her, round-face and not too skinny- though she was still pretty much on the very slim side, being a kunoichi and all. But her short hair and sparkly black eyes seemed to give her that little-girl kind of air. Guys like him, with his type of tough but sophisticated bravado frankly, usually didn't go there. Pedophilia was Orochimaru's thing and only Deidara was into the whole baby-faced sweetie-pies. Being around her made him almost want to behave, like, she seemed too pure to mess with freely. He was an assassin yes, but tainting the innocent was definitely not on his agenda.

"I'm a medic too," Shizune answered uncertain of the question. The two were sitting on the floor in the Godaime's paperwork room, sorting out and filling in what seemed like three year's worth of work. It was pretty cramped... and so far, it'd been a pretty sucky day. Being captured at like- what, two in the morning? Held prisoner for hours by a sexy lady who unfortunately wasn't too fond of him, and now paperwork. Maybe he should've tried Sunagakure. Nah, the Akatsuki rep was even worse there than it was in _this_ village.

He had reasoned that since he'd chosen to stay he should be at least allowed to go where he wanted. Wasn't as escort supposed to escort _him?_ These had been his thoughts before the Fifth's cute assistant had apologized excessively and practically begged him to come with her to her workplace. How the hell was he supposed to say no to her?

"Heh, I meant you seem more like a secretary or something. Are you the Hokage's slave or something?"

"Tsunade-sama is my mentor. She taught me my healing jutsu and let me stay with her after my uncle died." she replied, seemingly not offended at all.

"Your uncle?"

"Yes, Uncle Dan was her boyfriend many years ago," the short-haired young woman explained as she filed papers. She seemed pretty good at it, like she'd had many years of experience.

"Wow, she's that ol-

"Nya!" his mouth was suddenly covered by two smallish hands. The frantic look was back on her face as she looked around hurriedly. She let out a relieved sigh before pulling her hands back quickly, a small yelp escaping from her. One of her palms had small little scrapes on them, shark teeth scratches. She looked at him with an alarmed look. He winced.

"I didn't mean to," he stated honestly. He scowled slightly, not at her but at himself, not being able to help himself.

She forgave him easily enough but for some reason he still felt...guilty, almost. Not something he was used to.

"Er, anyways.. please never say the..." her voice went to a whisper as she looked up from a file box she was looking through. "The "O" word.."

"Old?"

"Shhh!" she looked around at the walls frightenedly again as if expecting her boss to come bursting through at any moment.

"Oh. Sorry," Well, no he wasn't but, yeah.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty uneventful.

"So, is this like some vitamin thing?" the blue-skinned man inquired. His head was back and his mouth open as he held a small red plant thing over it's eager chompers.

"Hm?" Shizune glanced over her shoulder for just a moment and gave him a small smile before turning back. Her voice was calm, casaul. "Oh, no, it's an Oto Optic Herb. It causes blindness."

He put it back down.

"So, this is the Konoha Greenhouse, huh? It's huge," an understatement, the see-through, fragrant home of plants and flowers was about a fourth the size of his whole base. And their base wasn't exactly small.

"It's also well cared for," she replied smiling fondly as she looked around. It was evening now and the next job was to bring the requested medicines to the hospital which was beginning to run low on a few herbs and such. Kisame, by now, had realized Shizune was apparently a very busy person. Hell, even Kakuzu didn't work this hard, especially not in one day. She seemed pretty devoted to her work at least. Though she seemed like one of those workaholic women who never had time for family. No good to him who was supposedly trying to settle down. Not that he was sure he wanted a family of his own or anything like that... Could Akatsuki members even _have_ relationships? he wondered for this first time.

"Are you okay?" the curious look on her face also displayed a slight hint of concern. "Oh no, you must be hungry! I'm sorry,"

Actually, the missing nin hadn't noticed it till she'd pointed it out, but he was positively starving. He'd skipped breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the three most important meals of the day! His stomach growled loudly, as if just realizing this now as well. Usually being hungry made him temperamental, almost wild, but her apologetic look kept him calm for now. Though he seriously needed food, and soon. A man his size needed to eat.

"After we drop these off at the hospital I'll make you something at my place," she promised, quickly piling up the many herbs, scrolls and bottles in her arms, the pile soon reached her forehead but she wouldn't accept any help. Even in declining she was too polite.

Her place, huh? That was pretty straightforward.

...Alas, she was unfortunately as innocent as he had figured she was. She seemed not to notice the appearance of the situation as she unlocked the door and led him inside her apartment. She apologized for the mess- which as far as he could see was nonexistent- and told him to make himself comfortable, which he did without hesitation, flopping down on the couch weak from hunger and exhausted from his unusual day.

It was hard to believe just a little more than a day ago he had been in the hideout kitchen arguing with Konan over his sexuality...

Well, to put it frankly: Shizune was a terrible cook. After many apologies and feeling-bad looks, she had gotten him off the comfortable couch and on the move again. Really, the craving for any type of food better than her's was the only thing that gave him strength to go on at the moment.

"Sorry, Tsunade-sama and I used to travel a lot. I never got the time to learn how to cook on the road. We usually ordered take-out from venders in the towns..."

He could barely pay attention to her, the poor blue guy. Starvation..taking over.. Vision blurring..Head throbbing..The world..fading away..body going numb..legs growing..weak..goodbye, cruel world...

"Here we are." the medic-nin chimed brightly. Kisame looked up eagerly, desperately.

At last, salvation came to him in the form of Ichiraku Ramen. If Pein wanted to destroy this village, fine. But Kisame would personally fight his leader to the death to keep this place standing when the time came. He'd never had noodles so good in his life. In fact, he'd never had _food_ this good in long while.

"Then he came up from under me and took out the tendons in my ankles. After that he knocked me away and attacked Tsunade-sama... I think Orochimaru was still too injured to do it himself but..."

He had brought up Orochimaru when she asked him if he felt comfortable talking about the Akatsuki. If it had been anyone else and not the undoubtedly innocent women beside him, he would've taken this as an attempt to interrogate him for information. He may not be returning right away, but he was no traitor. Well, except to his village. Anyways, she seemed to be doing the most talking which was fine by him since he was happily indulging with sophistication, and by that I mean" stuffing his face nonstop till his stomach was bloated.

"Did he look up your robe?" was what he tried to say but wasn't so successful with his mouth full.

She seemed to understand him anyways. Her face turned an amusing color though, he noticed as he drank up the soup in his third bowl.

"W-what?" she always seemed to over react, like a cute child. "No! Of course not!"

He laughed before ordering another special. His company seemed to have quiet for a moment, a thoughtful frown on her face as she considered, seemingly for the first time, the possibility of his suggestion.

"He better have not," she stated finally, an almost pouty expression on her face.

"You seem to talk about him more than Orochimaru. He your boyfriend or something?"

"O-Of course not!" she answered indignantly, but he didn't miss that slight twinge of pink in her cheeks. "He's younger than me, it'd be- it'd be _wrong_,"

How amusing, she said it like it was a rule in school that someone had suggested breaking. Teacher's- no, Hokage's pet. Just the kind of girl that annoyed the hell out of him back in his academy days.

"I've seen worse things," he replied shrugging.

Her face reddened another shade.

"H-how bout you?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Hm?" He chomped down the meat in his bowl; it almost seemed like he wasn't chewing his food..

"Are than any girls in the Akatsuki?"

"Sure, one," he answered easily, continuing his heaven in the form of noodles and soup. "She's pretty hot but a total bitch. Plus she's got 'Property of the Leader' stamped all over her- or more like _pierced _all over her.. anyways, she's off limits,"

"Aw," her sympathy seemed actually sincere. He shook his head dismissively.

"Nah, like I said, she's a bitch." he shrugged casually. "Plus, she thinks I'm gay,"

_"Are you?"_ her question was curious, not accusing at all.

A vein popped in his forehead.

"Hell no!" he snapped and she look startled. She returned to her soup almost sulkily, as if sad she'd done something wrong. He hated this. He always felt almost guilty when he was around her. He tried to lighten the mood with another rude remark about Konan but it was obviously too late. Their conversation had ended.

He was already on his sixth bowl when he suddenly froze, face half buried in miso goodness. The horrifying truth suddenly hit him: he didn't have any money for this food. And judging by how small and simple her apartment was, his cute little friend- who'd by the way only had one small bowl herself- wouldn't be able to cover for him. Just when he was beginning to think to make a run for it all the way back to the Akatsuki base he stopped, glancing at the younger woman. That wouldn't be fair..damn it, he didn't have any particular feelings for this one but he had a feeling he'd be haunted by dreams about her if he just did that to her.

Like that time he watched a cat drown without doing anything. He couldn't look at one without shaking again- everyone thought it might be for _other_ reasons. Plus, being the sort-of-insomniac he was, even the night couldn't get rid of these thoughts. Whenever he could fall asleep he'd almost always have nightmares. Sometimes about cats, sometimes about the Akatsuki, most often about drowning- a rather pathetic thing that he'd only confided in Itachi about. Anyways, he really didn't need her in his nightmares.

Yet, just when all hope seemed to be lost, another miracle happened. The medic nin took a good-sized roll of cash from- he wasn't really sure where- her person and handed it over. His beady, shark-like eyes bulged.

He was still in shock by the time he was stuffed and walking back to her apartment with her.

"Finally," she seemed as tired as he was though maybe a bit more used to it. She unlocked her apartment again and gave him a small smile. "Home sweet home,"

"What was- where did you get that money?"

A curious look then one of surprise fallowed by that little smile. That damned, off-limits good-natured smile. If he had any really strong feelings for the medic, this lack of availability would seriously be ticking him off. A darker side of him almost wanted to see if he could make this good girl go bad but he decided against it. Maybe his conscience had a point for once.

"Oh, Kurenai-san left it for you. She was worried,"

Shizune removed her sandals, turning on the light. It was a simple one bedroom apartment. Simple furniture, a coffee table and couch in the living room with three or four bookcases around and some house plants here and there. There was no real divider between the living room and kitchen which was also simple and the only other room was the small, clean bathroom. It was very plain indeed but also seemed to have a home-ish touch to it. It was clean but the demur seemed so..welcoming. The kind of home an unmarried man like him wouldn't mind coming home to everyday. That was a good quality to look for in a wife, he decided as he walked in, was if she could make a house feel like a home. He removed his sandals, his blue feet look gigantic in comparison to her petite ones. Sigh, she seemed so delicate.

At least that was Kisame thought as he plopped himself down gracelessly onto the sofa. Usually he had more manners than this, but frankly, he was exhausted. His feet were killing him, and after that meal he was ready for a long winter of hibernation.

"She was _worried_?" he asked skeptically, arching a blue eyebrow. "About _me_?"

"Well," Shizune answered uncertainly, trying to be nice, as usual. "Her words were more like.. 'Here, take this for his expenses and don't let him be burden to you'- not that you're a burden of course!"

Kisame chuckled lightly, eyes on the white ceiling. So that's how it was... Well, he'd have to make it up to her, he decided. Maybe he'd honor her by asking her on a date. Kukuku, nah, the crimson-eyed woman wasn't _that_ deserving...

_"Ugh, gag me with a spoon, freakin vanity lord,"_ for some reason he could imagine his female comrade's thought on this. For the first time he wondered about this. More so than ever he'd been thinking about his slowly declining excuse of a family. The Akatsuki was basically all he had for human company and who knew how long that would last.. The mist-nin had about another ten years before reaching middle age, his life was practically over. It should be over, he figured smirking to himself- to the ceiling- in a rather bittersweet way. Ninja rarely ever lived that long. Their average life spans were considerably shorter than the norm and he'd escaped death too many times before. Who knew when it'd come and take him to his final destination. He was certainly over due.

Like a book..an over due book, certainly not like one of the personally owned ones like the ones in the room, he counted them.. 23, 24..25..he yawned loudly.

Apparently he hadn't noticed Shizune had left the room because she soon returned from her bedroom with a pillow and blanket in her hands.

"You're letting me stay _here_?" he sat up, looking at her incredulously.

"I'm your guard and after all you helped me with today it's the least I can do,"

He took the offerings with a nod of thanks. He had almost felt tempted to return that warm smile but that wasn't exactly his thing. Smirks, sneers, and the occasional evil or cocky grin- yes, those the Akatsuki were known for other than the emotionless, passive face. He couldn't think of anyone who actually _smiled, _except maybe Tobi but who knew what kind of 'inappropriate in public' facial expressions the goober could be hiding under there.

"Have a nice rest,"

"Aren't you going to bed?" he asked frowning, as he lied back down on the soft pillow. The lights went off but he could tell without even looking at her there was a good-natured, 'No, I'm afraid not,' look on her face.

"Er, actually I have a little bit more to do. Some more paper work, new genin teams to organize, emergency sake to order for Tsunade-sama..."

"Shizune?"

"Yes?" she sounded mildly surprised, but curious. There was no real feelings for him behind it all. And that was okay, the water elementist decided. He did like her, but

"You work too hard," And he meant it. She really was a workaholic. Didn't she have any life for herself? Didn't she have any will and free spirit? And she was so..submissive. Though he was sure she could be strong-willed at times, most likely out on the battle field, but there was no viciousness nor defiance about her. Usually a man like him would look- die, _kill_- for girls like her. Girls who could balance their tempers out and be sweet to make up for their lack of it. But not so with him. She was just about everything he wasn't and everything he never wanted to be. _Strike one_: maybe she wasn't the girl for him. Not that he'd had any high hopes for her. Anyways.

"I-I do not!" she protested indignantly.

"So when was the last time you had a vacation? A day off?" great, now he was arguing with the only person in the village who liked him. Maybe Konan was right, maybe he was an asshole..

"...I'm- I'm _dedicated_," she insisted, growing a bit more confident. "I'm dedicated to my work!"

He just sighed, shaking his head and could've sworn she'd closed her bedroom door a lot more forcefully than necessary. Ah, so she did have somewhat of a temper. The light that could be seen from the crack under the door remained on till late into the night, long after the shark-nin had fallen into a miniature coma of full-belly and soft bed-induced slumber. Even though it had just been ramen and his bed was just a couch, it was certainly the best he'd had in a while.

* * *

"Let go of her right now!" the familiar, feminine voice hissed quietly. If he hadn't been, well,_ him_, her sudden appearance behind him would've been pretty startling. As it was:

"I'm _moving_ her to her bed!" he defended himself irritatedly. Damn it all! He tries to do a good deed and gets _yelled_ at for it. Figures, there was no justice in this world.

Kurenai watched him suspiciously as he picked up the medic who had fallen asleep at her desk, light still on, and halfway in the middle of a sentence. He carried her bridal style to her bed a few steps away and stepped back cautiously, giving the returned kunoichi an innocent look.

Shizune stirred and Kurenai approached her before pointing to the door, jabbing a finger in the direction of it.

"Wait outside," she commanded and turned her back on him without waiting for a protest.

A few minutes later she returned to find the blue-skinned man trying to make heads or tails of his blanket.

"Are you... trying to _fold_ it?" the make-up wearing kunoichi asked arching a fine, black brow.

"Shut up, I almost got it," he grumbled irritably. He was not a morning person. None of the Akatsuki were. Except maybe Tobi but he was an all-the-time person..Weirdo. Anyways, he seriously thought he was getting the hang of this folding thing. But not really. Not even close.

"Give it here," she sighed as she walked up to him, only the couch dividing the two. He sat down on the comfortable piece of furniture defiantly.

"I got it, I got it,"

"_Give it,"_ Kurenai snapped impatiently but her voice was soft. Apparently Shizune had gone back to sleep.

"No,"

"Give it!" she snatched a corner of it and pulled causing the shark nin to pull back out of habit. He had given a sharp, strong tug, definitely not what she'd been expecting. She let out a sharp gasp as she was pulled forcefully toward him.

The former-rookie jounin toppled over the couch and sprawled onto the childish man.

... "...Wow, If you wanted to get _under_ the covers you could've just said so-

He actually had to throw her off to avoid her knee which had made a swift, sharp jab upwards, narrowly missing his merchandise. Gosh dammit, he needed those! He was trying to settle down for Kami's sake!

"I hate you," the black-haired woman growled softly, picking herself up from the clean carpet, her pride more injured than anything.

There was an awkward silence, then:

"You wan't to go out for breakfast?" he asked. It was six A.M.

"...fine,"

* * *

"So how's your aunt?" after having gotten everything he had taken off or put down- just his sandals...- and finally letting the stubborn woman fold his bedding, the two people who both in a certain way had been assigned to one another, walked out of the apartment, Kurenai closing the door behind her carefully.

"She's dead," her voice was sharp, professional again.

"Oh, well. Sorry,"

"No you're not," her blood-red eyes narrowed at him as they walked to the closest tea house.

"You're right." he smirked slightly but out of pure decency refrained from laughing. He shrugged. "Just thought I'd say something.. Konoha-ish,"

"Konoha-ish," she repeated deadpanned.

"Yeah, you know. Sappy, stupid-

"You're a-

"Hey, is this the place?"

The two walked in.

* * *

_"The course of true love never did run smooth," -William Shakespeare_

* * *

Reviews are always appreciated. ^-^


	3. There's Still Something Missing, Anko

"There's Still Something Missing, Anko"

_"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." -Woody Allen_

* * *

"It's not going to happen," the crimson-eyed woman said simply, sipping her coffee, legs crossed.

"Well not with that attitude," the blue man answered sarcastically. He chomped down plates of bacon, determined for it to be the last meal he let her pay for. "Besides, I thought lots of people were willing to hire for non-ninja jobs."

"Sure, but I'd bet not being Akatsuki is a common prerequisite." Kurenai replied coldly. Kisame growled. He couldn't wait to be free of this ice-queen.

Kurenai eyed the blue-haired man stoically. Why did he even want a job? As far as she knew he was completely content with letting her pay for him. She hoped Shizune hadn't given him the impression that she needed to be paid back. Kurenai didn't want to take _anything_ from this guy.

It was bad enough she was assigned to be his guard but if he was going to start trying to become friendly, she was prepared to shoot down any attempts. Any offers of friendship or even cordiality would obviously be ploys to get her to reveal secrets. She knew how espionage worked and she wasn't about to let herself reveal anything to this man. He was Akatsuki and Akatsuki could definitely not, under any circumstances, be trusted.

"Well as long as I'm allowed free roam I think I'm going to give it a try," Kisame stated before gulping down a whole glass of water. Yep, that was the stuff. He raised his glass for a refill and the waitress quickly came over and filled it.

She was decent looking, not as cute as the girl who worked at Ichiraku but at least this one was in his age range. He eyed her thoughtfully as she walked away to take the orders of other customers. When he turned back to his breakfast companion she was scowling, eyes glaring.

"What?" he blinked, dumbfounded. What did he do?

"You pig, you were eying her up," the crimson-eyed woman accused irritatedly. He blinked again, letting her words sink in before he grinned.

"Yes... And?"

Kurenai rolled her eyes. Men.

"Jealous?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking slightly.

"Hardly," she replied deadpanned. Kisame chuckled, seemed to consider something, then decided for it.

"Hey Red,"

"Don't call me that,"

He ignored her and continued.

"Do you want to know the real reason I'm here?" he probably shouldn't be telling her this but it wasn't like he had much to lose. "Not for espionage or an attack or whatever your Anbu assumed, but the real reason?"

Kurenai reminded herself not to seem too interested.

"Enlighten me," she responded, poker face.

"That," he replied, nodding his head toward the waitress. She stared and he decided she looked rather cute when she was confused.

"You came to Konoha...to check out our waitresses," Kurenai should've known he'd give some BS answer like this.

"Waitresses, nurses, kunoichi," Kisame shrugged. "Any attractive woman will do I guess."

He blinked with surprise at how angry her scowl looked. Apparently honesty wasn't the best policy when it came to this one.

"You're so full of crap," she stated irritatedly, returning to her coffee and attitude of not caring. But Kisame was never one to be ignored.

"So how bout it, Red?" he asked, offering her his most charming sharp-toothed grin. "You busy this evening?"

"Yes," she answered coolly. "I'll be busy doing everything in my power to get you out of this village,"

"I can't do that without first hooking up with an attractive woman," he answered simply. Then smirked, deciding to add a joke. He was starting to realize how amusing it was to piss this woman off. She reminded him of Konan in a way, but..much more intriguing. "But you'll do too I suppose,"

He caught the coffee cup just a second before it collided with his face. Luckily she'd drunken all oh it's contents.

"Well if it's an _attractive_ woman you want to look at then fine. I think I know someone who can offer you a job," she spoke though gritted teeth. Kurenai took out a pen and pad and wrote down a name. She couldn't wait to be rid of this guy already. "She's at the Academy right now, and if you like her I'm sure Hokage-sama wouldn't object to reassigning her to you. Here,"

She stood up, slapped some money down onto the table and walked out. Kisame stared after her trying to decide whether he should be happy or not. After a minute he picked up the paper and read the name.

'Anko Mitarashi'.

* * *

Damn he was getting tired of all the scared looks he was getting. Feh, children. It was like they'd never seen a shark man before.

"Aaaah Akatsuki!" a little boy screamed, spotting Kisame and running away.

Oh. Well, he supposed the first thing he should buy with his to-be-earned money was some casual attire. Walking around in his cloak seemed to constantly be drawing him unwanted attention. Anyways, where was that classroom he needed to get to...He walked through the corridors and it brought him back to his days back at the Kirigakure Academy. All the rooms and halls seemed to look the same...

He sighed with relief as he finally found the right room. He was about ten minutes late from the time written on the paper Kurenai had left him but he assumed this chick he was supposed to be meeting wasn't very eager to see him anyways. Ok, well, here went nothing. He slid the door open.

"And _that's_ why condoms are important,"

He slid the door closed again.

Okay...Surely, he was at the wrong room. Surely they didn't teach sex-ed in this village to what looked like a class of, from what he'd seen in that split second, mostly terrified 16 year-olds. Surely those those sixteen year-olds could figure for themselves the importance of sexual protection. And surely the scantly clad woman in virtually nothing but fishnet and an overcoat couldn't possibly be the one he was supposed to be...He opened the door again, suddenly very interested.

"Excuse me," a rather familiar and intimidating -even for Kisame who was about the same height- man pushed by him purposefully. The scarred man looked furious.

"Anko!" Ibiki Morino yelled out in a tone that made everyone but Kisame and said-woman flinch. The purple-haired jounin just glanced over at the man with only mild interest, as if he came through the door and yelled at her everyday.

"Oh, hey Ibiki. Back so soon?"

Ah yes, Kisame thought to himself as he recalled the name, _'This was the guy who tried all those mind tricks on me to get him to talk when I was first captured. Heh, I almost did. This creepy bastard is no rookie...and...I think I know him from somewhere... years earlier...'_

He couldn't remember yet exactly where but he knew he'd met this man before in the past...

"I leave you alone for five minutes-_ five minutes_, and you're already corrupting my class?" the scary man boomed, glaring in a way that would make lesser women cower. But Anko being, well, Anko, merely looked irritated.

"_Corrupting?"_ she exclaimed indignantly. She turned and stared at the pro at torture and interrogation straight up in the face. He had a good foot on her but she still scowled up at him fearlessly. "These are valuable life lessons I'm teaching these ingrates!"

Oh yeah. Kisame was liking this chick more and more already.

"This is a tactical maneuvering and reconnaissance class," Ibiki sighed, not knowing why be bothered even arguing with this impossible woman. "_Not_ a sexual education lesson!"

"Well fine! But when I'm in charge of Chuunin exams again, and these maggots don't know the best ways to seduce enemies, I'll make sure you get the blame when they fail!"

And she stormed off.

Or, more precisely, out the window after having thrown a kunai through it and shattering the glass. Ibiki groaned softly, obviously very peeved.

"_Why_ does she enjoy breaking my windows so much?" he grumbled to himself, shaking his head.

"Er, any chance you might know where she's heading off to?" Kisame asked, awkwardly stepping up to Ibiki. He pointedly ignored the stares and gasps he was getting from the class. "I'm-

"Yes, I know who you are," Ibiki answered, staring down Kisame who stared right back. "Kurenai-san told me you might be coming by to find her,"

"Kure...oh, Red," Kisame blinked, as his memory put the pieces together. His "guard" seemed to always be one step ahead of him.

The tanned man frowned thoughtfully, highly doubting Yuuhi Kurenai was allowing this criminal to call her "Red", but that was her personal business. Perhaps the Akatsuki man had been coming on to her and she'd chosen to send him to Anko to try and redirect his interests. Heh.

The serious man actually smirked a little at the thought, his sadistic mind suddenly drawing up all the possible..."drama", that Anko Mitarashi could possibly have in store for the blue-haired man.

"Try the local dango shop," Ibiki answered. He almost felt sorry for the Akatsuki. He never wished the punishment of spending time with Anko upon even his worse enemies.

"Kay, thanks," Kisame slipped outside through the broken window. He was pretty sure he'd passed by a dango shop somewhere along the way...

"Hey," his former interrogator said just before he headed off. Kisame looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah?" he asked, curious as to what the man had to say.

Ibiki hesitated for only a moment, seeming to consider the emotional health of his students then decided he didn't care for it.

"She bites," he warned simply. And looked way.

"..." Kisame grinned. "I hope so,"

This just kept getting better and better.

* * *

"Are you Anko Mitarashi?"

It had taken a while to find her. Apparently there were several popular dango shops in the village, all of whom had owners who knew this woman's name. They all agreed that she'd probably be at the small dango stand near some place called "The Forest of Death". Oooh, scary, Kisame had thought smirking to himself. Anyways, it had taken him a little while to find the infamous spot.

The woman he'd seen earlier was sitting on the roof of a dango shop, her slim legs dangling down. Unfortunately for him she'd switched her tan skirt for a pair of short khaki shorts and, while he had to admit the view form below was very nice, he had been wanting to know if she actually wore no undergarments at all.

"Who wants to know?" the almond-eyed woman asked, looking down at him and giving him a once over. She seemed unimpresssed and that somehow peeved the blue-haired man. She took the last dango off the dango stick with her teeth and tossed the sharp object into a tree nearby without even looking. It landed amongst the others she'd thrown, completing the Konoha leaf symbol pattern she'd started.

"Kisame Hoshigaki," he answered. "Akatsuki...prisoner,"

He finished very reluctantly and cringed slightly when she laughed out loud. He scowled. She was hot, definitely, but nobody laughed at him. He instinctively reached for his Samehada before realizing, once again he didn't have it. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He was unarmed, and it made him feel almost..weak. He growled and the violet-haired woman seemed to react, her face becoming serious.

"Yeah, Kurenai told me you were coming by looking for a job," she said standing up and dusting off her shin guards. But,"

She took out a kunai and Kisame immediately readied himself for a fight, no questions asked. She licked her kunai blade as her eyes took on the gleam of a predator.

"This is no time to get friendly. You're an S-class criminal, one of the top of the most wanted list. You've got to be taken down, and it's only fitting that I'm the one to do it."

First mistake: underestimating how skilled this woman was.

He'd dodged her first kunai easily but a second one hiding in the first one's shadow grazed his cheek slightly. He felt a trickle of warm blood slide down the small cut.

Second mistake: underestimating how fast she could be.

He knew this woman was supposed to be a jounin but in all honesty, even though she was a 10 in all aspects of womanhood, she didn't strike him as a formidable ninja from just appearance.

So when she suddenly appeared behind him, using her chakra to attach herself to the fence just behind him he was shocked for just a second. A second long enough for her to lean over and lick the trickle of blood from his cheek.

Third and final mistake: not leaving then and there.

He knew that killing any Konoha citizen would mean immediate capture and execution of himself so he knew killing her wasn't an option even if she was trying to kill him. So he should have ran.

"Mmm, someone's sure tasty," Anko purred dangerously.

But he didn't leave. Because for some horribly unexplainable reason, a pleasurable thrill ran through him as her tongue made contact with his cheek. He realized then how long it'd been since he'd been..intimate with a woman and this sadistically sensual act sparked just the kind of pleasure he recalled enjoying most in his youth. He grinnned.

* * *

"I hope he didn't give you too much trouble, Shizune," Kurenai apologized while strolling with her friend through the village. They were about to grab a late lunch together and maybe just a sip of alcohol.

"He wasn't any trouble at all actually," the short-haired woman replied smiling. Kurenai wondered how a woman could look so young and cute (without the help of any jutsu) like Shizune. They were the same age and yet the medic seemed to look years younger. If the genjustu mistress was the jealous type she'd most certainly be slightly envious of her friend's naturally youthful appearance.

"Really?" Kurenai had also been worried that Shizune's naivete and kind nature would've made her vulnerable to the shark-man's...irksomeness. She knew her friend wasn't defenseless nor weak but the medic was used to turning the other cheek when it came to verbal abuse, especially from Hokage-sama.

"Really," Shizune answered as they entered the restaurant. Kurenai ordered salad, she ordered sushi. Kurenai was about to order a glass of wine when the short-haired woman requested a bottle of sake to share. The crimson-eyed woman looked surprised. Shizune just shrugged and grinned.

"My treat," she said. Then her face turned sympathetic. "I'm sorry about your aunt,"

Kurenai smiled slightly. Unlike Kisame, Shizune looked genuinely sorry for her loss. That was the thing about her friend, she was always so sincere. And everyone knew it.

Another thing Kurenai envied about her; most people always assumed because she was an expert at genjutsu she was a mistress at deception as well. And while it was fairly true during missions, when necessary, she tried to pride herself on being as frank and honest as she could be. But even her own students often had to repeat things just to make sure she'd meant what she'd said the first time.

"Anyways," Shizune was continuing, already taking a sip from her sake shot glass. "Yeah Kisame-san was actually very helpful with errands and paperwork. I got things done yesterday that should've taken me all week to do!"

'_Ah_,' Kurenai thought, smiling with amusement at her revelation. So _that's_ why Shizune was 'letting her hair down' today. The genjutsu-mistress was happy her friend could relax once in a while. But still, she was surprised with the news that the blue-haired man could be anything but dangerous and irritating.

"Well, cheers," she said finally, and toasted her sake glass with Shizune's before downing her first shot. She told herself she wouldn't get drunk tonight. Asuma was coming home from his mission tomorrow and she did _not_ want to be hungover. Kurenai wondered for a moment what her boyfriend would think when he found out she was single-handedly guarding a dangerous Akatsuki prisoner. She took another shot.

"So, why the salad?" Shizune asked when their food arrived. The baby-faced medic frowned at her friend's poor excuse for a meal. Then at her friend's barely-heavy-enough-to-be-healthy form. "You can't still be dieting. You're already so skinny!"

"It's not for a diet," Kurenai defended indignantly, shifting slightly in self-consciousness. "I just like having a a nice salad from time to time,"

"But like Anko-chan says: that's_ rabbit food_!"

"It's also healthy human food for people who want to watch their weight," Kurenai relied primly.

"Nehhh but Kurenai-chan you're so gorgeous already! And with a great sense of style to boot!" Shizune whined, her face- Kurenai noticed- was already slightly pink form the alcohol. Shizune could _not_ hold her liquor to save her life. "You have beautiful hair, a great complexion and a _sexy_ body!"

Kurenai blushed a little, slightly embarrassed but more worried about her friend's self-control.

"I think that's enough sake for you, Shizune," she said, smiling with concern.

"No way!" the medic protested, now almost officially drunk. "I've been worrrkin my butt off for the past monthsss! Shizune time now!"

Kurenai couldn't help but laugh at her friend's ridiculousness. What the hell; she took another shot of her own.

"With you in the village it's no wonder women like me can't find a husband!" her friend complained sullenly. "It's not faiiiirrrr,"

"Shizune, Genma-san has been trying to ask you out for weeks." Kurenai reminded her, completely confused by her optimistic friends pessimism and completely embarrassed but flattered with her friend's such high opinion of her.

"Yeah I know," Shizune mumbled to herself, pouting. "But I'm just soooo busy. Thank goodness for Kisame-san!"

"Ha, it surprises me that anyone would say that," the crimson-eyed woman laughed, taking another shot.

"Oh don't be like that! So... where is Mr. Tall, blue, and handsome right now?" Shizune asked grinning, her face flushed and her eyebrows wiggling suggestively at Kurenai. "I think he might have the hots for you,"

Kurenai laughed again, though by now figured it must be the alcohol. Her friend's idea was completely absurd and most certainly unpleasant to think about.

"I doubt it," she answered, her red lips curving slightly in a smirk. "But even if he did he has other women to worry about now,"

"Nehhh, what do you mean? Where is he?"

"With Anko," Kurenai replied, her own cheeks starting to turn pink form the alcohol.

"Ayiiiieeee!" Shizune squealed in her characteristic way. Even in her drunken state she still found the idea, like the mentioned woman,_ crazy_. "Why?"

"I sent him to her," Kurenai was officially grinning now.

"Oh you're bad!" Shizune exclaimed and the two women both burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

* * *

"I could've killed you, ya know?" the shark-nin commented as they walked through the dark forest. He was still a little bewildered about what had just occurred. One second she'd been trying to kill him, the next she was explaining how it had all been a joke and she had a job offer for him.

"Yeah yeah, keep dreaming, Sharky," the violet-haired woman answered, her arms behind her head in a lazy way. Kisame was wondering if he was starting to bore her and he felt almost embarrassed at the thought.

"Red told you I was coming to see you then?"

Anko shot him a glare and he assumed she was probably a friend of "Red's" and didn't appreciate him calling her that. But no, he was wrong.

"We had to cut our bath time short because she made me go get ready to meet you." she said frowning. Kisame processed this.

"You two...bathe together?" he tried to keep away dirty thoughts but the way he was getting a little warm around the gills showed he was failing.

Anko suddenly caught his drift and smirked.

"Yeah, at the hot springs," she explained, a mischievous look on her face. "Sometimes we even..help wash each other up.."

He was trying really, really hard to not get a nosebleed from the inappropriate images going on his head.

"So, uh, what's the job?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation going and change back into a safer subject. She was suddenly serious again. He admired a kunoichi who could switch easily from work to play when necessary.

"We're going to be having another Chuunin Exam in this forest pretty soon. Our job is to make sure there's nothing a skilled genin team shouldn't be able to handle." she explained. She then grinned to herself as if suddenly thinking a dirty but wonderful thought. "Though I do love seeing the sight of blood splattered everywhere. Especially if those young guys who think they're so tough,"

She laughed and he chuckled a little too. So she was a bit of a sociopath, but big deal, so was he. Kisame was beginning to think that she might just be the one. Or at least a good start.

"I'm going to need a weapon if we're going to be doing some exterminating," he reminded, hoping desperately for his Samehada. No dice.

"Are you a ninja or aren't you? Use your jutsu like a man," she snapped back. He sighed, both disappointed and irritated. He was sufficient enough in taijutsu to take care of himself but who knew what was in the is God-forsaken forest. And Kami how he wanted his sword back.

"There's no water around," he stated, exasperated. "I'm from the Hidden Mist,"

Anko groaned dramatically and they both exchanged glares.

"Fine then head north, there's a river you can go hide in," she said finally. He scowled. Minus points for bitchiness."We can cover more ground this way anyways,"

Crap. The point was to spend time and get to know her. The blue-haired man growled to himself in frustration. Oh well, maybe he'd have time later. He could always go find her after patrolling the river a little bit.

"Any advice or restrictions?" he asked before he headed off. Anko smirked.

"Just don't die!"

"Kukuku," he couldn't help but chuckle. This woman...

* * *

"Suikoudan no Jutsu - Water Shark Projectile Technique," a column of water rose out of the river and held the large bug under pressure. The shark man immediately came in and dealt a swift and powerful death blow. Kisame smirked. That was the thirtieth kill tonight and he was _loving_ the blood rage. He hadn't had time to vent in a long time and boy was he letting loose. He'd forgotten how fun it was to kill things with your bare hands.

"Hey!" a familiar voice called out. Kisame looked to see Anko jumping down from a tree nearby. He was glad it was dark now. Her see-through outfit had been a bit distracting earlier. Yet he could still make out her curves in the shadows. _Very nice_, he thought once again. "Leave some creatures for the genin!"

Kisame smirked. "Sorry, guess I got carried away,"

"We don't want to make it _too_ easy for them," Anko reminded, smirking in return.

"That's why I left a couple of the giant bears alive,"

"Good, I did the same with my cute kitties,"

Kisame assumed she was talking about the huge tigers that she'd playfully fought with earlier. She'd been impressive, even by his standards. Her fighting style was quick and brutal and he had to admit she looked good while doing it. Her lean body was almost cat-like under that mesh and her breasts...well, he'd tried not to get too distracted. Not too hard since fighting has always been his first and foremost love.

"What was that one jutsu with the snakes?" he asked, curious. "The one you used against the giant leeches."

"Senei Jashu - Hidden Shadow Snake Hands," she answered shrugging her smirk fading a little. Kisame nodded, considering something.

"It was impressive...where'd you learn to fight like that?"

He knew almost instantly he'd struck a nerve and he could see right through her as she tried to cover up. Her discomfort was as clear as day in her light brown eyes but he wanted answers.

"I had a terrible but amazing teacher," she answered reluctantly.

"He was terribly amazing or..."

"No, he was an amazing teacher. But a terrible person," she trembled slightly with anger, but Kisame could tell it was not directed at him. She grit her teeth as if in pain and her hand went instinctively to the back of her neck. Kisame caught a glimpse of a dark mark. A tattoo maybe? They were both silent for a moment.

"Not something I really like talking about," Anko said finally, a sheepish grin coming to her face. Kisame decided not to press the issue.

"Ok. So...do I get paid today?"

The snake-woman laughed at his decision to change the subject so drastically but she appreciated it. And she liked her men direct.

"Yeah yeah. Here," she took out a small stack of yen bound with a rubber band form her coat. Kisame ogled at the money as he took it in his hand.

"_This_ much?" he asked. He didn't want to question it but he was honestly dumbfounded. "For one day?"

"Not a lot of people are capable of doing this job," she answered simply. She then smirked before continuing, "And even fewer are willing to do the job with _me_,"

Kisame raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"People here find me a little..."

"Eccentric?" he offered.

"Psychotic and hyperactive," she finished shamelessly, smirking all the while. "And sometimes scary,"

He blinked. Kisame was by no means scared of this woman. In fact...he glanced down at his newly acquired money.

"Want to go get dinner?"

* * *

"And so then he decides he's too good for this village, and ups and leaves!" the clearly-drunken woman screeched, her cheeks cherry red.

Kisame had not intended to get her drunk. He honestly didn't. But when she started to demand sake he figured he could let her have one or two shots.

She was on her tenth.

"The freaking pale-ass homo just drops everything he has and just books it right out the village!" she was obviously very angry about it but the alcohol was numbing her enough to stay relatively calm. Still, several people in the bar moved to seats a little farther from the fearsome two. Kisame had his Akatsuki cloak slung over his shoulder.

He'd started to get a little warm after starting to drink himself so the netting shirt he had worn underneath was letting him keep cool. Yet for some reason people still gave him scared looks even when not knowing he was Akatsuki... Stupid, rude Konoha civilians. Bet they were mean to little children, he thought with spite.

"Including his sick, twisted experiments!" Anko ranted on.

"Including you?" he added. It hadn't taken long to piece together her story even from the drunken little bits she'd given him. He didn't tell her he used to work with Orochimaru when the creepy man had been part of the Akatsuki but he did agree with her on all points that the snake man was one of the most despicable creatures alive.

"Including me, that asshole.." tears sprung up into her eyes and Kisame nearly panicked. But, to her credit, even drunk Anko was able to blink them back and resist looking vulnerable. Kisame almost felt sorry for her. His childhood certainly hadn't been a swim in the park but hers certainly..well, sucked. That damn Orochimaru. Kisame knew the man had lived a life of lies ever since the day he saw him. The pale Sannin simply radiated dishonesty.

"He's just one of those guys that are full of lies," he mumbled, scowling to himself and taking another shot of sake himself.

"Heehee, that rhymed," Anko giggled, she stretched out her foot under the booth and nudged his leg. He looked at her. "You're pretty funny for a rogue ninja,"

He mulled this over in his head. He hadn't intended to be funny, hell he hadn't even intended for what he said to rhyme, but this was interesting. He was sure it was just the alcohol's effects. but his new co-worker was actually...hitting on him. now, Kisame had a lot of pride, but even he had to admit to himself that it had been a long time since he'd attracted a woman's interest.

He chose not to answer and poured himself another shot.

"So," she leaned across the table, giving him a very nice view of her chest area that he was currently trying not to stare at. "Tell me a little something about you, Akatsuki,"

"Heh, you sure?" he asked. "My story's even messier than your own. Lots of blood, gore, betrayal..."

"You're a man after my own heart," Anko laughed, grinning, her eyes kind of glazed over. Kisame worried she might pass out soon and quickly poured the last of the sake into his own glass. That was more than enough for her.

"Yeah..well, too bad I can't really tell you details. Regulations and-

"Aw why not! Come on, Akatsuki, get that pole out of your ass! You're starting to sound like Kurenai-san,"

He looked actually offended. Did she just compare him to that sexy stick in the mud?

"Tch, fine," he scowled finally. "You'll probably be too drunk to remember this in the morning anyways,"

"Yay story time!" Anko cheered.

"Well, I graduated the Academy at the age of 10. Not long after I joined Kirigakure's Cypher Division- kind of like our version of your Anbu thing."

"Dangerous missions?"

"Daily,"

"Kill a lot of people?"

"Countless,"

"You're hot,"

"Yes- wait what?" Kisame leaned back slightly in his chair as Anko crawled over the table and into his lap...Well, this was...interesting. Not unpleasant, no certainly not, just...Kisame really didn't know what to do at this point. Her pupiless brown eyes stared piercingly into his own.

"Go on," she purred, smirking her little mischievous smirk.

"Er.. right. Anyways, that guy with the scars who's class you hijacked earlier..I knew him from a long time ago. Took me a little thinking to remember but..He captured my team and tried to interrogate us for intel."

"Ibiki's good at what he does," she said, seeming to sober up a little bit by the slightly more serious look in her eyes. Yet she remained unmoving in his lap. Kisame tried to ignore this and continue.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Too good. My team started cracking, spilling secrets-

"Bastards,"

"Yep, so I killed them."

There was a pause and he stared at Anko's face for a reaction but she remained expressionless, as if pondering over the information.

"I believed protecting information was far more important than protecting lives. I still do. I don't regret a thing," he finished darkly, feeling he had to defend himself. But he didn't.

"I'm not holding it against you," she said quietly, seriously. "I would have done the same..."

So he kissed her. For no other reason than that no one had ever been understanding about why he did what he'd done, he kissed her.

He put his arms around her and, when she tensed but didn't push him away. There was no real passion, no fireworks, but it was heated and forceful and she kissed him back.

They continued to kiss until one of them- maybe it was her, he couldn't remember- suggested they should 'take this somewhere else'. Kissing and cursing along the way because even in such a situation she'd found a way to get on his nerves and even under sake's influence his pride wouldn't allow him to just let the woman's comments slide, they headed to her place.

They arrived at her apartment, both drunk, angry. When he pushed her against the wall she growled but quickly put her arms around his neck and pulled him into a fierce kiss. They battled for dominance. He was stronger, but she was a tease and they drove each other crazy. They were soon on her bed, her coat and shin guards off, he shirtless. His back glistened with slick sweat and her breaths were coming out in heavy gasps.

There was no attachment, no intimate feelings, just alcohol and lust. And he liked it that way. At least... he was almost sure he did. In the dark he both kissed a ferocious kunoichi and moved his hands over a sexy woman, he had no complaints. But still, something in the back of his mind wasn't fully into it. He was partly detached and this part of him was reprimanding him. He hadn't come here for sex. He'd have gone elsewhere for that, so what did he think he was doing..?

Then she bit him. And he lost control.

* * *

_Beepbeepbeep!_

Kisame groaned and reached for the annoying device without looking. He hears something crash to the floor and he cursed under his breath. His head hurt like a bitch and he growled at his mistake of forgetting to turn off his alarm last night.

Wait. He didn't _own_ an alarm.

The blue-haired man sat up in the unfamiliar bed. He glanced around the dark window-less bedroom. What the..He glanced down and realized he was shirtless, his Akatsuki cloak lay on a chair on the other side of the room.

"..." he lifted the white sheets and was mildly surprised to see his boxers were still on. The black ones with the smiling Goldfish crackers on them. So...what had happened last night? As he reluctantly got out of the bed he looked around groggily. There were no pictures in the room, no personal items other than clothes and a few scrolls laying around. Disheveled but certainly not crowded, and absolutely impersonal. A shinobi's room.

A bra lay on the floor beside the fallen alarm. A kunoichi's room, he corrected himself mentally.

He picked up the alarm and set it back on the night stand. That's when he noticed the note.

'Still here? Who said you could stay all night? Just kidding. Nothing edible in the fridge, lock the door when you leave.' -Anko

And that was it. No 'thanks for last night', no heartfelt message of how she'd fallen for him or wanted more. And..he was ok with that. Kisame sat on the edge of the bed and reread the message several times. In the dimly lit room the tall man ran a hand through his dark blue hair. He sighed. What was wrong with him?

When he was younger he'd kill- literally- for a no-strings-attached night like this. He hadn't felt anything strong for her and neither she for him. He assumed he a had a good night- even if he couldn't remember any of it- and it was safe to assume she hadn't completely hated it. They owed each other nothing and she was completely fine with going on.

So why wasn't he?

"Ugh, what's wrong with me..?" Kisame growled softly, burring his face in his hands with frustration. Why did he not feel content by how things had turned out? Why instead were there feelings of remorse and dirtiness burning in his stomach like bile? It wasn't like he'd never had a one-night stand before... So, why did he feel so...empty..?

"There's still something missing..." he whispered to himself.

After washing up in Anko's bathroom, after nearly slipping on several bars of soap she'd been to lazy to pick up, he got dressed. As he exited the apartment he sighed again. Things would be so much simpler if he'd been his younger self.

"She actually let you spend the night?"

He couldn't figure out why, but just the sound of that familiar voice made his morning.

"I'm surprised. She usually wants her lovers gone by morning," and indeed a surprised frown did grace the woman's fair-skinned face.

"Hey, Red,"

"Stop calling me that," she pursed her full, red lips and glared at him sharply. "If you have to address me then make it Yuuhi-san, or just Yuuhi,"

"Aw and here I thought we'd gotten close enough to be on a first-name basis," he replied, grinning, starting to feel like himself again.

"Dream on," she said deadpanned but then paused. A more solemn look came upon her face as she continued. "Though I see you've gotten pretty close with Anko-san last night,"

Kisame just shrugged. She raised a dark-colored brow.

"I honestly don't remember," he admitted, grinning sheepishly. She made a face.

"You had drunk sex," It was more of an accusation than a statement.

"Sorry we forgot to invite you,"

"You're unbelievable," Kurenai scowled.

"Thank you. You too,"

His guard/guide rubbed her temples. One, because this man was simply infuriating; and two, she had a mild hangover.

Kisame watched her, looking solemnly thoughtful.

"Hey...Yuuhi-san,"

She blinked, surprised he was actually complying to her request.

"Yes?"

He reached into his cloak and held up one of the yen bills he'd earned.

"Breakfast?"

* * *

_"If we seek the pleasures of love, passion should be occasional, and common sense continual." -Robertson Davies_

**I wonder if anyone is even still reading this now that Kurenai had her baby in the manga... Should i continue? 0_0 PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU'RE STILL INTERESTED IN THIS STORY.**


	4. It's Not Good to Settle, Yuuhi

"It's Not Good to Settle, Yuuhi"

_"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal." - Jane Austen_

* * *

"Gee are you sure that's enough?" the shark man joked, smirking in disbelief. There was practically a feast on the table. And most of it wasn't even his!

"You said you were buying," Kurenai explained lightly, smirking in return. Kisame's smirk widened a bit into a grin. She was a woman after his own heart. He loved a girl who loved to eat. None of that dieting or calorie-counting crap.  
He couldn't stand those kind of women.. He recalled walking into the kitchen one morning to kind Konan actually _measuring_ out her portions with teaspoons. Kami, some girls were crazy.

Kisame eyed the glass of fruit juice, the three hard-boiled eggs, the plate of toast with a side of honey-butter, the banana, and the huge stack of pancakes. It was just the two cups of coffee that bothered him though. At first he thought she'd ordered for the two of them but when she possessively took both cups he'd opted for just water instead. This woman was certainly very strange.

"No creamer, or even sugar?" he gave her a disapproving look as she took another sip of the dark, bitter liquid.

"I like to drink it black, helps me wake up," she replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

"And the feast that could feed a nation?" he gestured to the food. "You ordered very specifically, no?"

He wondered in the back of his head why he noticed these little things about her. Probably, he figured, because he'd made a lifestyle out of sizing up enemies.

He was probably just used to recording minute details in his head. Like the way she held her fork delicately but firmly as if prepared to use it as a weapon if ever necessary. And the way she sat with her legs pointing toward the door as if ready to always be on the move. The way she licked her red lips ever so slightly between every other sentence. Wait- he was missing her explanation!

"...the eggs have cytosine which breaks down acetaldehyde in the body. And a banana to regain my depleted potassium,"

"I'm sorry what?" he blinked at her. She rolled her eyes.

"You weren't even listening." Kurenai took another sip of coffee, determined to show how little she cared about whether he listened or not. And she really didn't. But still, it was rude.

_'Well what can I expect from an Akatsuki,'_ she reasoned in her head. She frowned. _'But still. For an insane serial killer...at least he has table manners,'_

"I wash sho," he insisted, his mouth full of bacon and eggs.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," she reprimanded coolly. Scratch that part about table manners. He was such a boy.

"Yesh mum," Kisame grumbled and drowned down his food with a glass of water. As beautiful as this woman was, she was still suck a prick. Oh well. It made it all the more fun to mess with her.

"Just run it by me again one more time." he said. "Sum it up for me."

"Fine," she relented dryly. "I have a hangover. Each of these foods has something to help me recover from it...except the pancakes."

"Ohh," Kisame nodded understandingly. Finally something that he could actually relate to. He and some of the guys in the Akatsuki went out for drinks on their days off from time to time. He, Deidara, and Hidan would compete to see how many shots they could take, and then all end up being beaten by Sasori who obviously had an unfair advantage. Even Itachi would go brood in a corner nursing a martini. But of course Kakuzu and Konan would be left home. The older nin refused to 'waste' money on alcohol and Konan hated anything with non-essential calories.

"The coffee actually doesn't help you know," he knew from experience that caffeine often made hangovers worse.

"Yes but it temporarily relieves my headache,"

"Ah," Kisame looked away and took a gulp of his water. Kurenai raised a brow, trying not to ask but not able to stop herself.

"What?"

"Nothing," the ronin replied innocently, that smirk tugging only ever so slightly at his mouth. "It's just, you didn't strike me as a woman who'd settle for temporary,"

She pursed her lips in a thoughtful frown but said nothing. A few moments more passed of this silence before Kisame found it tiresome.

"So what_ is_ with the pancakes then?" he asked finally. "Did you realize you're skinny enough to actually eat carbs again?"

It was a joke but she glared at him nonetheless. He just grinned.

"_Actually_," she answered, trying to maintain her patience with him, "I don't avoid carbs. I need them for energy and besides…"

She sat up shamelessly and only turned the slightest shade of pink as she gestured to her generous assets. "Most of the fat I eat goes here anyways,"

To his credit Kisame didn't look. He kept his eyes nonchalantly on hers and shrugged before returning to his meal. Kurenai wasn't sure why that should irk her but it did.

"Well what's with all the protein?" she asked snappily, deciding to start the conversation for once. He glanced up from his bacon and sausage bit-covered steak omelet. "You know too much meat is bad you,"

He grinned, his mouth full again.

"The weak are meat and the strong eat," he replied, using his favorite expression. "Survival of the fit-

He then froze as she put a finger under his chin. She pushed up gently but firmly, effectively closing his mouth. He stared at her and she stared back, with an unreadable expression. There was a silent pause that seemed longer to him then it really was.

Was this one of her genjutsu? He couldn't seem to move… It was those eyes, he thought. Those crimson traps of hers…

"Don't talk with your mouth full," and just like that the 'spell' was broken; the magic was gone. She removed her finger and resumed her breakfast, leaving the blue-haired man with a lot more questions than he had before. She... just became a lot more interesting to him. It had been a long time since he'd met a woman who could make him freeze up like that.

"You always so uptight, Red?" he asked, once he'd recovered.

She gave him a look.

"Yuuhi-san," he corrected, half-mockingly. She grimaced.

"I'm not uptight, I just like to keep things professional." she answered simply.

"You don't seem like a woman who'd be into professionalism," Kisame commented honestly as he finished up his eggs. The dark-haired woman looked offended and she raised a dark eyebrow in defiant questioning.

"And why would that be?"

"Do all kunoichi in this village wear make-up?"

"Some do,"

"And your outfit. Not that I'm complaining, it looks good on you but-

"I wear my Jounin attire when required but this is comfortable and I can work well in it," Kurenai snapped. She drowned the last of her coffee before taking out her wallet.

"No wait, I got this remember?" Kisame took out his money-wad and counted out the bill. The red-eyed woman hesitated before putting her wallet away.

"Thank you," she said tersely before standing up and walking out.

"Whoa- wait," Kisame actually had to jog a little to catch up with her. Where was she going in such a hurry? "Aren't you supposed to be like my body guard or something?"

The dark-haired woman glanced over her shoulder.

"I thought you wanted _Anko_ to be your new guide."

"She's crazy," he protested meekly.

"Didn't seem to bother you last night,"

Kisame blinked. Oh. So _that's_ what this was about. He rubbed the back oh his forehead.

"Well I told you I don't really remember any of it."

"You were drunk," Kurenai said drolly, frowning her further disapproval.

"And yet you're the one with a hangover," he pointed out, smirking.

She sighed. It was true. There was no justice in this world.

"Yes I have a hangover but I'm not going to let it, or you, get in the way of my morning jog. Come on, I'm going home to change."

* * *

"Well...It's very...clean?" Kisame looked around the nicely kept, nicely furnished apartment. Everything was in order and also in style. The interior was decorated with a red, black, and white motif that seemed to suit its occupant and..it also smelled nice. There were nice personal touches like a few childhood pictures of her- yup she still had those same eyes-, several small houseplants, and even an unopened bottle of champagne on the mahogany table.

Kisame then mentally slapped himself for becoming so entranced by something as trivial as the interior of an apartment. No wonder Konan thought he was homosexual... Luckily he had something more interesting to look at as his caretaker stepped out of her bedroom in burgundy colored running shorts and a white t-shirt that seemed to unintentionally emphasize her best assets. Her long black hair was tied back into a ponytail and she'd removed her make-up making her look younger and showing off her natural beauty.

"You look... good," he said honestly, glancing at her slender legs.

"My eyes are up here," she joked, smirking wryly, not sure what to make of the unwanted attention. She bent down to tie her white sneakers then grabbed her water bottle. "You coming or do I have to lock away all my sharp objects?"

"I don't have any running clothes," he gestured to his Akatsuki uniform.

"Then let's go get you some,"

* * *

"Is that Kurenai-sensei? She looks so hot!"

"Come on, she's not our sensei anymore and just _look_ at her! Even you gotta admit she's smokin, Shino,"

The very covered-up shinobi glanced at his sensei who was passing by across the street.

"She's always been very attractive," he replied tonelessly.

"See, told you Hinata. You need to stop taking things so seriously. Hey Kurenai-senseiiii!"

The brown-haired fifteen year-old waved his sensei over but his grin faltered as he noticed the tall, imposing man walking with her.

"Hey guys, who's the stiff?" Kiba asked his friends, frowning.

"His cloak is similar to the descriptions of an Akatsuki member," Shino commented pensively.

"I overheard my father telling the elders we have an Akatsuki member being held prisoner in the village," Hinata explained. "That must be him,"

"Hey guys, how's independent training going?" Kurenai asked as she came up to her former-students.

Kisame eyed them wearily. She had kids?

"These are my old students," the crimson-eyed woman explained. "This is Hinata Hyuuga,"

"N-nice to meet you,"

"Shino Aburame,"

Shino nodded curtly.

"And Kiba Inuzuka,"

"What are you doing fallowing Kurenai-sensei around?" the boy with the red marks on his face demanded of Kisame. A ginormous white dog trotted over to his side and began sniffing him. The shark man stepped back. He wasn't much of a fan of non-aquatic animals.

"We're going shopping, Kiba," Kurenai said before the blue-haired man could fire back a rude remark.

"But sensei, he's _Akatsuki_!" the Inuzuka protested incredously.

"Very observant," Kisame said snidely and the two scowled at each other. Kurenai elbowed him in the ribs.

"Which is why I'm guarding him Kiba," Kurenai explained soothingly, now well-used to her ex-student's rowdy attitude. "Trust me, everything's fine,"

And to Kisame's amazement the boy grudgingly let the matter go. The shark man gave his 'babysitter' an impressed look.

"I think my students like you," she mused as they walked away. Kisame gave her a skeptical look.

"You're kidding right?"

Kurenai laughed- a very pleasant sound, he noted- and nodded. "Yes, I'm kidding,"

"Oh. Well, they seem to really look up to you. You're like their mom or something."

"I prefer to think of myself as the sexy older sister type," she answered, smirking a little. He grinned in response. She wasn't so bad when she loosened up a little.

"So where are we going anyways?"

"We're actually already here," she replied and walked into a small clothing store. Kisame fallowed her in wearilly. He couldn't believe he was actually going clothes shopping with a woman. He hasn't even _dating_ anyone and he was already going through married-man torture.

"How bout this?"

"No,"

This?"

"Nah,"

She offered several more options that were actually mostly fine by him but he actually wasn't paying much attention to the clothes. She moved around the store casually but with that subtle grace that characterized all her movements. Her eyes were calm but calculating as she picked each option thoughtfully, leaving the ones that didn't appeal to her own taste.

She really is beautiful, Kisame thought to himself pensively. Too bad she obviously wasn't interested. Still, even though he hated shopping with a passion they still passed thirty minutes in the store and he enjoyed every minute of it.

"I give up!" she finally threw her hands up in frustration. "We'll go to another store,"

"No need," Kisame smirked cheekilly and picked up a dark blue track suit and several other casual wear outfits, all of which she'd previously shown him.

"B-but, you said you didn't want those!" she exclaimed indignantly.

"I changed my mind," he grinned and walked past the fumming woman and to the cashier.

Afterwards they went back to her apartment so he could change. When he stepped out of the bathroom dressed in his track suit and matching navy sweatband he found his host in the kitchen looking through her pantry.

"Need to buy groceries later.." she mumbled to herself.

"Hey,"

She glanced over her shoulder. "Ready?"

He nodded and they headed back out.

"The headband's a nice touch," she commented mildly, handing him his own water bottle.

"Thanks. Heh, didn't think I'd find clothes my size,"

She shrugged. "Shinobi come in all sizes. Anyways, think you can keep up or should I just stay at a medium jog?"

"Heh, I can keep up," he assured her.

But after five miles of running she was still going strong and he was begining to lose his breath. He'd already finished his water and his thigh muscles were killing him. Itachi always allowed for rest stops every four miles when they traveled. And it had been a while since Kisame had been out on a long-distance mission. He had to admit he was a bit out of shape when it came to running.

She still looked downright photogenic though. The most photogenic woman in the world, in his opinion. Her dark hair swayed back and forth in it's ponytail but a few strands had gotten loose and hung around her face. Her lean muscles tensed and relaxed as she ran. She wasn't sweating but _glistening_ perspiration and her cheeks were a charming rose color due to both exhertion and the crisp cool of the late autumn weather. She was lovely. And Kisame was suddenlly very aware he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

They made small talk as they ran, he learned her favorite color was, not red, but a light purple, she enjoyed a glass of wine every night before bed, and her favorite weapon were senbon because they were quick and clean. Her favorite fighting technique was incapacitating the enemy with her genjutsu then swiftly finishing them off under the cover of the same jutsu. In exchange he disclosed his favorite fruit was watermelon, he hated most land animals but mostly cats- partly because he was allergic to them-, he enjoyed water jutsus and decapitations, and even though he was an ex-water ninja he actually couldn't swim till he was 8.

"You're joking," she laughed, and he felt funny.

"No, my father always said I was a disgrace to the whole water country. Most kids learn to swim there before they're four."

"I can't swim at all," Kurenai offerred, her voice finally getting a little breathy. He was glad she wasn't some indomitable iron-woman. But her words both surrpised and troubled him. He'd never met an adult who couldn't swim before.

"But..you're...what? Twenty-seven?"

"I'm thirty one," she replied honestly. Unlike some women she didn't worry about hiding her age. Not yet at least, maybe in a few years.

"Oh. Well, still you're an adult. And a jounin," he was surrprised to learn she was only a year younger than him.

"When you can walk on water there really isn't any point in learning to swim," she explained, now officially panting a little.

"You're missing out," he sighed, shaking his head. They finished up their run. In total they ran ten miles all around the outskirts of the village. Kisame was kneeling down, out of breath. She offered him her water bottle which was still half full and he took it gratefully.

"Yuuhi-san?" he panted. He'd made short work of the water, chugging it all down in less than five seconds.

"Yes?" she rubbed the drops of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. Her thighs were screaming in exhaustion and pain and her heart was still pounding fast. It had been a good run.

"I can teach you how to swim sometime," he offered, giving her an unreadable look. She looked genuinely surprised.

"Er...ok. I mean, yes. That would be nice, thanks," she offered him a slight smile before chiding herself inwardly. What did she think she was doing getting all buddy-buddy with her mission? And what was he doing being so friendly and agreeable? She preffered his sarcasm and immaturity. He was much less likable that way.

* * *

Back at her apartment she flipped the tv on and poured him another large glass of water.

"I'm going to take a shower, help yourself to the tv and fridge."

He flipped to the news channel. Apparently civil war was threatening to break out in the Water Country. He smirked, served them right. All he did was be a dutiful shinobi and the village had exiled him. A bunch of pricks they all were. But then there were people like that no matter the country.

He wondered what the rest of the Akatsuki was doing. He wondered if anyone besides Konan even knew if he was gone? Would anyone even care? What if he never came back?

'Heh, they'd hunt me down, that's what,' he thought to himself with a grim smirk. That got him thinking to just what the hell he'd been thinking to come here anyways. To show off to Konan? To prove a point? He could've done it someplace smarter. It wasn't like even if he did find a girl he loved here they'd have any chance of a long-term commitment. He couldn't stay here forever and he highly doubted she'd go back to the Akatsuki with him.

He sighed and burried his pale blue face in his large hands.

"Hey you're turn. There's an extra towel in there," Kurenai came out in a crimson terry-cloth robe with her wet hair up in a matching towel. He looked up and stared. Well, he shoud at least make the best of the time he had here right? Even if he couldn't stay, he'd think about the consequences later. He was a here and now kind of guy.

After his shower he changed into navy pants and a mesh t-shirt with a black tank-top over it. He felt like he was eighteen again in these clothes but he didn't mind. It had been a while since he'd worn anything other than his Akatsuki uniform.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, pushing his damp hair out of his face with his towel, he was surprised to see an extra familiar face.

"Shizune-san?"

"Hi, Kisame-san," the medic greeted smiling her usual girlish smile. He blinked at his shopping bags in her hands.

"Are you taking my stuff on a walk?"

The short-haired woman looked at Kurenai curiously. "You didn't tell him?"

"I was getting to it," the crimson-eyed woman said sheepishly.

"Tell me what?" he frowned. He didn't like being left out of the loop.

"I'll wait outside," Shizune offered and stepped out the door.

"You're going to have to stay with Shizune-san again. Until we can find a more permanent temporary residence for you," Kurenai explained. Wait, what? Kisame wasn't fallowing. He had thought...

"I'm not staying here?"

For the first time he saw her look unsure of herself. She hesitated, biting her lip slightly.

"No," she said finally. "My..boyfriend is coming home tonight and I need to discuss it with him first."

Boyfriend. Kisame stared blank-faced. Of course. She had a boyfriend. She was beautiful, strong, witty, feminine...of_ course_ she had a boyfriend... A bile bitterness built up in his gut as he frowned, mulling this information over.

"Is it..the guy with the blades?" he asked after some thought. "The one I fought the last time Itachi-san and I were here?"

"His name is Asuma Sarutobi and yes," she answered, obviously uncomfortable with the subject.

"You didn't really seem to be very romantic back then. More like awkward friends,"

"A lot can change in three years," she defended, blushing slightly. She didn't like having to defend herself over things like this.

"Do you...love him?" he asked before he could stop himself. There was a pause.

"...yes,"

"You hesitated." he said, not knowing why he couldn't just let it go and leave. She scowled, now thoroughly uncomfortable.

"Fine, I think I love him. Or.. I think I can learn to love him." she admitted finally. He stared at her with an indicernable expression before snickering and shaking his head at her. He headed toward the door. She intercepted him, stepping into his path.

"What?" she demanded, looking him in the eye. He was quiet for a moment, wondering whether or not he should answer. Finally, he decided he owed it to her.

"It's not good to settle, Yuuhi,"

He walked out leaving Kurenai very much alone.

* * *

"Hey Kurenai-san, there you are!"

As she stepped out of the grocery store and into the street, he dark-haired woman stopped as she heard her name. She glanced behind her shoulder at the energetic snake-woman dashing toward her. It was just past sunset but Kurenai could still see the excited grin on Anko Mitarashi's girlish face.

"Hey Anko, I was just about to head home-

"Do that later I have some thing to show you," Anko stated with her usual self-given authority. She tugged at her friend's arm. "My apartment now!"

"I need to get these groceries home." she raised up the plastic grocery bags filled with various cooking ingredients. "I was gonna cook something for Asuma-

"Don't bother. Everybody knows you cant cook."

Kurenai frowned. As usual, the purple-haired woman was being her usual blunt self.

"Now let's go, it will only take a second!"

Kurenai knew there was really no point in arguing with her. Anko had a habit of getting what she wanted in the end and Kurenai didn't have the time to waste trying to fight a lost cause. She sighed and relented. Fifteen minutes later they were at the very messy, very lonely-looking Mitarashi apartment.

"You ever think of getting a maid, Anko?" Kurenai asked as she tried not to get too close to the piles of laundry. Who knew what kind of creature could be lurkng in all the clutter?

"Hey I just cleaned up a couple days ago!" Anko protested defensively. "Now wait here,"

She headed to her bedroom and Kurenai took another glance around. For a place so cluttered it seemed strangely impersonal. No pictures, no moments, no personal scrolls. Mostly laundry, food wrappers, and scattered kunai and shuriken. It could've been any messy shinobi's room. It seemed so empty for a place so obviously not.

"Ever think of getting a cat?" she asked as her friend returned with a video tape in her hand. "Or a houseplant?"

"Not a fan of animals. And I cant keep those things alive like you can. Only one thing in this apartment gets daily water and that's me."

Kurenai decided to give up. "So what's the tape?"

Anko grinned as she remembered the purpose of the visit.

"I want you to see this," she said as she turned on her small television in the junkyard that was once a living room.

"If this is one of those videos you borrowed from Kakashi-

"It's not it's not," the special jounin sighed, rolling her eyes. "I don't see what the big deal was. You watched like half of it before you got up and left last time."

"Anko-

"Anyways, this one's interesting. It's me and Hoshigaki- you know, that Akatsuki guy you tried to hook me up with?"

Kurenai's stomach dropped and her eyes widened slightly. She was suddenly very aware that she did _not_ want to see this.

"I'm not interested," she said, her mouth slightly dry.

"But-

"I'm serious, Anko," and she looked it too.

"I promise you can leave after a certain part,"

She finally relented again and Anko went into an explanation about how she kept hidden cameras in her house for security reasons and that she hadn't planned on getting her 'personal nights' on camera it just happened. She then proceeded to play the tape.

Kurenai steeled herself for the worst. She really couldn't see why Anko wanted to show her this. Why was it her business who Anko or Hoshigaki-san slept with? It wasn't...he was just her responsibility to keep out of trouble. That was it. There was no emotional attachment.

So there _shouldn't_ have been a burning irritation as the image of him and Anko making out on the bed appeared on the screen. But there was and Kurenai had to will herself to stay put. It grew increasingly more difficult as the clothes began to come off and for the second time that day she got to admire the sculpted form of the ex-Mist ninja's chest. But the Anko in the video was doing more than admiring and when she bit the well-built man he seemed to react quite a bit.

By the time she was just in her undergarments and removing his pants Kurenai was standing up to go when-

The Anko in the video collapsed. Kisame caught her in his arms and seemed to stare at her for a few moments as if wondering what to do next.

The Anko in real life was laughing.

"I can't believe I passed out. I must have been really wasted! But watch this- he actually_ tucks me in_. He's not even _gropin_g me or anything! A real man would've woken me up and finished the job! Or have had his way with my passed out body- but _this_ guy..you sure he's Akatsuki? He's so...saint-like or something,"

But Kurenai wasn't paying attention to her. She was watching the calm looking shark-man put a pillow under the passed-out Anko's head before going back to the other side of the bed and making himself comfortable. He fell asleep facing away from the woman he'd just refused to take advantage of.

"So.." Kurenai said slowly still in disbelief. "You two...didn't sleep together?"

Anko looked up and shrugged. "Well technically we did,"

"But..you two didn't.."

"Have sex? Guess not."

The crimson-eyed woman had to fight the smile tugging at her lips.

* * *

_"Yet he was jealous, though he did not show it,_  
_For jealousy dislikes the world to know it." -Lord Byron_


	5. Cooks Can't Be Squeamish, Ayame

"Cooks can't be squeamish, Ayame..."

_"Love is where you find it__**…**__ It is foolish to go looking for it," -Kurt Vonnegut Jr._

* * *

"So how long has Yuuhi-san been seeing this guy?" Kisame asked as nonchalantly as possible while he stamped an unread document as 'read'. He couldn't believe he was doing paper work again; but then he supposed he really shouldn't be surprised. A lot of things in his life had been going very unexpectedly lately.

"Huh? With Asuma-san?" the cute-but-not-his-type woman looked up from the mission reports she'd been filing. She looked thoughtful for a moment, a small frown coming upon her small mouth as she racked her brain for the answer.

"That's the guy who smokes a lot, no?" Kisame really couldn't see what was so great about this guy. He wasn't incredibly attractive like Itachi-san, and his fighting was mediocre at best. Maybe Red was just into the rugged, burly smoker type...Kisame scowled to himself. She could do better.

"Yes, Asuma-san smokes," Shizune replied with a nod. "But he's a really good guy and he's very reliable,"

Geez, did this woman have anything bad to say about anyone? Kisame raised a skeptical eyebrow at her and she pouted slightly, ready to loyally defend her comrade's reputation. Hn, he thought appraisingly, she really was a good kid.

"And?" he inquired, not really sure he wanted to continue on this topic.

"And I think they've been together for...a little over a year now."

"A year?"

Shizune fidgeted as she mulled it over a little more.

"Well, I think they've been dating on-and off officially for nearly three, but It wasn't till last year they've been officially together," Shizune paused and smiled to herself, blushing slightly. "All this gossip makes me feel like I'm back at the Academy again,"

But Kisame wasn't listening to her silly reminiscing. Three years? He grimaced. Damn, how was he supposed to compete with three years of who-knows-how-intimate-relationship?

_'Hmph, well then it's a good thing you didn't fall for her,'_ he thought to himself grimly. Sure he'd admit he was, to a certain extent, attracted to the crimson-eyed ice queen but he had known from the start not to get his hopes up about her. Their 'relationship' was strained at best; she tolerated him, he saw her as an amusing acquaintance, but in all reality, he couldn't even call them 'friends'.

"I'm sorry,"

He looked up, snapped out of his own self-pity. What? He gave Shizune a genuinely confused look. What was she walking about?

"You liked Kurenai-san, didn't you?"

"…"

He burst out laughing, startling his smaller company.

"You're being too nostalgic now." he chided jovially. This woman was absolutely ridiculous. "We're not hormone-crazed genin anymore, ya know. Those school-yard crushes and whatever, they don't _exist_ in our worlds anymore, Shizune-san,"

"Shinobi fall in love all the time," the medic replied pointedly.

"Or more often agree to arranged marriages to help carry on good traits and kekkei genkai,"

"But their feelings play a role in it too,"

"Not unless one or both people are very attractive physically or talent wise,"

"Or they could get along due to personality and common interests!" Shizune insisted. Kisame snorted.

"Yea because personality means a whole lot nowadays," his sarcasm was unnecessarily biting and he wondered if it had been toward her or him. He'd hardly admit it but he'd always been a bit sensitive about how his...unique appearance often scared people off before they even got to know him. Gradually that sensitivity had given way to bitterness. But his self-pity now had to be cut short because of the dilemma that had currently unfolded in front of him.

Shizune was sobbing and he had absolutely NO IDEA what to do. He simply sat on the floor with her in stunned silence.

"I'm going to die alone!" Shizune wailed, her sobs wracking her whole slight frame.

Oh. Kisame blinked.

"Er, there there," he said, awkwardly patting her on the shoulder and glancing around the room for any assistance at all. The unfinished paperwork stared back at him, mockingly and otherwise unhelpful. He resumed his awkward patting. "Kisame is here,"

"I'm not beautiful like Kurenai-san," Shizune sniffled, trying to regain control of herself while the tears kept coming. "Or a great fighter like Anko-san, or beautiful _and_ a fighter like Yuugao-san…I'm just _me_,"

Yuugao-san? She sounded hot. And she was a good fighter? Kisame was quite interested... but he figured it was probably better to ask at a more…appropriate time. But honestly, he was at a loss. Women never cried in front of him, except occasionally in fear while begging for their lives. And ice queen Konan probably only cried in front of Pein, if in front of anyone, if at all. What had he learned from those movies Deidara made them all watch?

"Um..don't say that!" he exclaimed, awkwardly pulling Shizune into a one armed embrace, glancing around the room; eye-contact would only make this more awkward. "You're amazing, beautiful, and talented! Any guy would be lucky to have you!"

That's what the hero had said in the movie right? While Kisame was trying to remember, he noticed the dark-haired woman had stopped her disturbing crying and was staring at him as if..seeing him for the first time- crap!

"Uh, I mean, any guy in this village," he added hastily. When she looked slightly crestfallen he sighed and opted for his last resort: honesty.

"Look, Shizune," he removed the arm he had around her wait up to her shoulder. "I know I haven't known you very long..."

"Three days," she mumbled sulkily.

"Right. But I can honestly say… you're one of the best people I've ever met. You're unbelievably... hard working, admirable loyal_…_and," he raised her chin with his hand, glaring at her to believe him the first time around because he was _not _saying this true-but-way-too-mushy crap all again. "So _ridiculously_ kind,"

Shizune stared and him, blushing a little. She smiled, brushed away the rest of her tears, and shook her head with embarrassment.

"Thanks. Sorry for that outburst. I'm not sure what came over me," she apologized sheepishly.

"Stress?" Kisame suggested raising an eyebrow. He was both surprised and glad she recovered fast and _very_ relieved the crying episode seemed to be done away with.

"Probably," Shizune laughed lightly before turning back to her paperwork. "There is a lot to do, isn't there...guess we'd better get back to work."

"Right," the Akatsuki member sighed and picked up the rubber stamp again. There was a few minutes of silent working before: "So tell me about this Yuugao,"

* * *

"Well, say something," Kurenai slammed down the used dinner plates, nearly cracking them. Her crimson eyes flashed dangerously at her husky boyfriend.

"What?" Asuma looked genuinely startled as he looked up from the tv. Everything had seemed fine to him during dinner and during the first few minutes of him and his beer enjoying some down time on the couch while his dear girlfriend did the dishes..where had this outburst come from?

Kurenai gave the dense man a hard look and gave him a few more seconds before giving up. He just wasn't going to get it on his own was he?

"Hoshigaki Kisame," she said finally, studying his face for a reaction that didn't come. Asuma simply looked surprised.

"The prisoner? What about him?"

She stared at him with her lips pursed. Even he knew what that meant. She was peeved.

"Is he giving you a hard time?" Asuma asked, frowning slightly in concern.

"No,"

"Well…is he causing any problems?"

"…no," Kurenai admitted reluctantly.

"Then what's the big deal about him?" Asuma asked with mild exasperation. Kurenai bit her lip- another one of her little quirks he knew the meaning of- and returned to the dishes. The dark-haired man sighed but gave his girlfriend a slight smile. His years of training his three handfuls had taught him a great deal of patience.

"Hey, come on," he said soothingly, standing up from the sofa and walking to the kitchen. He put his large hands on her shoulders and massaged them gently. "What's bothering you?"

Kurenai tried to ignore them, but felt herself relax unwillingly under the care of his warm, coarse hands. Was it too teenage girl of her to wish her boyfriend knew what was bothering her without her having to tell him?

She surrendered and leaned back into him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her hair.

"Hey stop it, I don't want my hair to smell like smoke," she scolded teasingly, only half joking. She _hated_ the smell of tobacco; always had, but after the first year of trying to get him to quit, she'd decided it was something she'd probably just have to settle living with.

"Fine but only because I don't want my cigarette to smell like burning hair," he mused, smirking slightly. Kurenai laughed.

"You ass,"

There was the woman he knew and loved. But back to what was bothering her. He figured she'd get mad again if he didn't at least give it a guess.

"Is he flirting with you?" he asked, completely joking. His girlfriend tensed slightly and he grew curious. And mildly amused.

"An Akatsuki member has a crush on you," he smirked, the idea more ridiculous than alarming.

"He does not," Kurenai huffed, rolling those ruby eyes. She dried her hands with a dish towel and slipped out of his embrace.

"He did buy me breakfast though," she admitted grimly, opening the fridge and scanning it for dessert. Her boyfriend was already returning to the couch. She grabbed a strawberry Yoplait -nonfat- and glanced over for his reaction to the news. He seemed almost disappointingly unfazed.

"Good. He owes you for all the time you'll be spending with him," Asuma said reasonably.

"And you don't have a problem. With me spending all this him?" Kurenai asked skeptically, opening her yogurt and stirring it with her spoon.

"Of course not. As long as he's not harassing you I think it's a good experience. And it's an assignment from the Hokage herself," the dark-haired man replied, raising his eyebrows slightly at the crazy things the monkeys were doing on tv. Animal Planet always amused him, even if he wasn't too fond of animals in real life. "I'm proud she chose you,"

Kurenai gave up and sat beside him, very unamused by anything animals did on t.v. or otherwise. She figured she may as well change the topic now since the conversation hadn't gotten anywhere close to where she'd thought it should.

"How are the kids?" she asked. She remembered he'd gone on his last mission with two of them while the third had gone on a mission with their father. She just couldn't recall which went with whom.

"Shikamaru is doing well- smart as ever, but just as lazy," Asuma replied. 'Right', Kurenai thought, remembering, 'Shikamaru had always been his favorite,'

"And Ino has grown into a beautiful young lady," her boyfriend continued, frowning slightly. "I just wished she'd dress a little more conservatively..."

"I dressed like that when I was her age," she reminded him, smirking. His cheeks remained clear of the blush she was usually able to bring on them. He just nodded, seeming to only vaguely remember.

"I thought they'd get together," he said finally, taking a long drag and staring off somewhere past the television set.

"Who? Shikamaru and Ino?" Kurenai blinked in surprise. "They're like polar opposites,"

"And aren't opposite supposed to attract?" her boyfriend asked in a mumble, frowning as he bit down pensively on his cigarette.

"Only in theory," she replied, smiling slightly. Where was he going with this? "Why?"

"I tried to gently push them together," Asuma admitted sighing. Kurenai scoffed in disbelief.

"You're kidding. We're not match makers, we're their _teachers_," she reminded him pointedly.

"Yea, but now he's with that girl from Suna and...she's like his opposite too," Asuma grumbled, putting out his cigarette and reaching for his box. Kurenai grabbed his hand and gave him a sharp look. It had taken her a while to convince him only one stick an evening.

"We don't interfere with our students personal lives," she said testily.

The dark-eyed man scowled. "But isn't it a person's job to tell someone they care about if the person they're with is wrong for them?"

Kurenai smiled to herself calmly, swallowing a spoonful of yogurt and keeping the spoon in her mouth. She gave her partner considering look.

"I didn't think you'd be the type to get involved in these kind of things," she said finally. They were both quiet for a moment before Asuma took the remote and turned off the tv. Standing up he took the cigarette box out again and headed to their room.

"I'm going to have one on the balcony," he said, not looking at her. "Then I'm going to bed,"

"Be there soon," Kurenai said softly. But they both knew she wouldn't go to bed till after he was long asleep.

* * *

"Out for a stroll?"

Kurenai smirked slightly as the man stepped out of the shadows and fell into step beside her. It was dark out, the moon was well hidden by clouds and the stars seemed particularly dull that night. It was chilly, but in a mildly pleasant way and the feeling of little goose bumps rising on her fair skin always calmed her nerves.

"Where's Shizune?" she asked coolly. If he had done anything to the medic he was so dead.

"At the Hokage's office," Kisame grinned, quite pleased with himself. He'd been a bit surprised to see Red walking around the streets at this time of night, but she was definitely not an unwelcome sight. She was in her usual attire but her hair had been put up in a ponytail again like she'd been running. Still, disarmingly beautiful. "She's asking on my behalf if I can have my Samehada back,"

Kurenai grimaced but continued to look straight ahead as she walked. "You're shameless,"

"Yup," he grinned in response, slipping his hands into his pockets. He glanced up at the dreary looking sky. Nights like the these reminded him of home. Well, his old home. Kirigakure hadn't been his home in a very long time but still the memories of it were always so vivid...

"I can't believe Shizune left you alone," Kurenai said, waking him up from his reminiscing. "I bet the ANBU are having a field day trying to hunt you down,"

"Sorry Red but she actually got their permission," Kisame answered, smirking. He loved to burst her bubble. She was the type, he believed, that needed to be knocked off her high horse every now and then.

"Really?" she raised an eyebrow, disbelieving.

"Yup," he grinned and pointed up into the dark shadows of the taller buildings. Only the most trained of eyes would be able to make out the dark silhouettes of the masked men perched about. "They're temporarily watching me from a distance till my new bodyguard is assigned to me."

Kurenai hid her surprise well.

"New bodyguard," she repeated, glancing at him expressionlessly. "Didn't know I was being replaced,"

"No one can replace you," Kisame answered, smirking, but looking at her with eyes that made her tense up. It wasn't predatory the look in those dark eyes..it was familiar in a vague way though she couldn't put her finger on it at that moment. All she knew was it made her feel uncomfortably off-guard for the split second he'd held her gaze.

"Besides, you quit," he reminded her, bringing his eyes back to the dark street in front of them. They walked slowly and deliberately though with no destination in mind. "For your boyfriend,"

The slight bitter aftertaste of that last word hung in Kisame's mouth, making him grimace slightly without meaning to. The sentiment wasn't lost on her.

"I didn't quit," she replied coolly, looking ahead as well. "I said I had to talk things over with him and he's all for me..babysitting you,"

Kisame turned his head to glare at her for referring to him as a child but he soon calmed as he noticed her teasing smirk. This woman...

"And tucking in the baby at night?" he asked, raising a navy eyebrow. She hesitated.

"That's what I thought," he said, nodding briefly.

"Well sharing an apartment with the both of you would have been bad anyways," she protested indignantly. She would not be bested in conversation by this savage of a man. "Would you honestly be happy waking up and having breakfast with Asuma every morning?"

Kisame grimaced just thinking about it.

"Exactly,"

"And that's why my new bodyguard is single," the blue-haired man concluded, triumphantly, glancing at her. If he'd been trying to gauge her reaction, she was determined to disappoint him. Her face remained impassive.

"Your new bodyguard is a woman?" she inquired, trying to remain uninterested. She failed horribly and he, to her dismay, could obviously tell. He was grinning that infuriating sharp-tooth grin again.

"Yep, a hot, beautiful, incredible and very single woman," he replied cheekily. He loved holding all the cards. And he had a royal flush. "According to my sources,"

"Shizune," Kurenai said rolling her eyes and wondered how drunk the man had needed to get the medic in order to spill this information. She asked.

"Not even tipsy," he answered honestly, still smirking at her. "We didn't drink at all."

"Then why would she tell you anything?"

"Red, has it never occurred to you that just because you refuse to be friends with me maybe others aren't so ridiculously hostile?" he asked her, smirk fading.

"No," it was her turn to be honest. She looked mildly surprised. It actually _hadn't_ occurred to her that Shizune and this.._criminal_ could possibly become..friends. The idea in itself was just ridiculous.

"Well, we're chums now, so you better get used to it," he said, grin returning. "And what are friends for but to introduce friends to lovely, single ANBU ladies?"

"An ANBU lady?" she repeated, incredulously. "Not Yuugao!"

Kisame frowned. What was with this woman? If he'd been any less of a man he might have been almost hurt at her disbelief.

"And why not Yuugao?" he asked.

"She..she.." Kurenai bit her lip frowning as she searched for a good answer. She huffed with frustration as there was none to be found.

"Shizune-san showed me a picture and she's beautiful, she's an ANBU agent so she can obviously take care of herself, and," Kisame smirked, locking eyes with his companion's red ones. "She has an apartment all to herself,"

* * *

Kurenai was fuming the next day. So much that when her two friends entered the diner Shizune nearly ran away upon seeing her and Anko grinned in curiosity.

"Hey, Kurenai, it's not our time of the month yet is it?" the purple-haired woman asked, sitting down and yanking the fearful medic-nin into the seat next to her. The spoken-to woman frowned seriously from across the table.

"This isn't the time for jokes, Anko." Kurenai answered, piercing red optics still fixed on the woman fidgeting in her seat.

"Why, what happened?" Anko asked glancing from Shizune to the predatory woman sitting across from her. "Shizune sleep with your boyfriend?"

"I did no such thing!" the medic cried out blushing. She had a fairly good idea about what Kurenai was angry about though.

"You're changing sides," the long-haired woman accused, the banana in her hand somehow taking away from her angry countenance. She'd begun to get in the habit of a fruit every morning in her attempt to add more vitamins and nutrients in her diet. She was sick of all those supplement pills.

"I am not!"

"I can't believe you would do this!"

"I just don't see what's so bad about being friends-

"Waiter can I get some coffee?" Anko asked, raising a hand to get his attention.

"He's _Akatsuki_, Shizune!"

"He's not so bad though," the medic insisted.

"He's just trying to take advantage of you!"

"He is not!"

"Can I get some creamer too?" Anko added.

"He made you ask for his weapon back," Kurenai reminded. She hardly could believe Shizune's nonchalance regarding the dangerous S-rank crimnal.

"I offered," Shizune retorted, indignantly. "He deserves something for good behavior,"

"Yes like an opportunity to destroy the village," came the sarcastic reply. The short-haired woman looked hurt.

"Whoa whoa," Anko finally stepped in. "Come on Kurenai, you know I'm never the one to be the voice of reason but even I know Shizune would never do anything to endanger the village,"

The crimson-eyed kunoichi sighed. The wild woman had a point.

"I'm sorry, Shizune," she said grimly. The medic was graciously willing to accept the apology. "It's just that..you gave away my mission,"

"The one with shark-boy?" the chuunin-proctor inquired, looking surprised. She accepted her coffee from the waiter and demanded dango. "Is that what this is about?"

"Yes," Kurenai answered sighing slightly. She couldn't believe she was letting herself get all worked up over that stupid man. "And isn't it a little early for sweets?"

"It's never too early!" Anko denied adamantly. No one got in the way of her and her red-bean dango.

"I didn't give away your job, Kurenai-san," Shizune piped in, looking up from her menu. "I was just looking for a temporary replacement for me while you're sorting things out. Tsunade-sama's been giving me a more missions lately and I won't be able to watch him while you're busy anymore,"

"I'll watch him," Anko offered, grinning.

"No," Kurenai snapped so quickly that her friend looked indignant.

"Fine," the sweets-lover huffed. Luckily her order was being delivered to the table and her full attention was turned to devouring her breakfast.

"If you still want to guard him, the position will automatically go back to you," Shizune continued, trying to soothe her still irritated-looking friend. Kurenai thought it over. Did she really want to spend more time with the blue-haired Akatsuki? Every time they were together they would fight, no...she admitted to herself reluctantly that while she'd always been hostile to him, he'd never been anything more than sarcastic at his worst and humorous at his best to her. Their arguments hadn't really been arguments at all...they had been.. banter. And she, though it pained her to admit it, had actually..enjoyed it.

And that was not good.

"No, it's fine," she said after a while. She was smiling slightly but there was something about her eyes that made Shizune feel for her but the medic said nothing. They ordered and ate in silence for a while before Anko, finished with her sweets, spoke up.

"So how are you and your love muffin, Kurenai?" she asked smirking over her cup of coffee.

"Yea, I bet you're happy Asuma-san's finally back," Shizune added, glad to be changing the subject.

"We had a nice dinner last night," the red-eyed woman shared, smiling. She felt somewhat detached as she explained her and her boyfriend. As if she was speaking about another woman and not herself.

"And then did you.._.do it_?" the purple woman inquired, with a naughty grin. Shizune blushed but looked at Kurenai for the answer. The woman just rolled her eyes.

"Anko, there's more to a relationship than sex," she scolded, as if to a teenager. The 'teenager' looked unconvinced but the other woman began to smile giddily.

"There's also dates, and long talks, and cuddling," Shizune said, almost gushing. Her two companions looked at her with surprise.

Kurenai had always thought her friend a hopeless romantic but also a practical kunoichi like herself. She was curious as to what brought the optimistic change upon the beaming Hokage's assistant. Luckily, she didn't even have to ask.

"Genma-san asked me out!" she squealed and was immediately met with congratulations, pats on the back, and inquiries about when she was to have sex with him.

"He's a fine piece of man," Anko commented approvingly. "Not as good as my Kakashi, but still, not bad Shizu,"

"You and _Kakashi_ are going out? Kurenai asked, smirking skeptically. She knew both Hatake and Mitarashi well and_ neither_ of them seemed to her the type for commitment.

"Well, not yet," Anko admitted casually. "But I'll get him eventually. Especially since you two already seem to be planning your marriages without me,"

Kurenai scoffed. "No one said anything about getting married, Anko. Genma-san has just asked Shizune out."

"But you and_ your man_ have been together for like forever!" Anko pointed out.

"Yeah you've been dating for almost three years now, right?" Shizune, too, was curious as to where that relationship was heading.

"Well yes but..." Kurenai paused. Marriage...? Sure she'd given some thought about it early on in their relationship, back when she was still wondering whether it was going to last, but now...? It just didn't seem the right time. Maybe not even the right guy...but that was impossible. For her to be in the wrong situation wasn't like her. She always chose wisely and prudently and if she'd been with Asuma for the past three years then certainly it must mean something...right?

"I don't know.." she said finally. Both of her friends looked at her curiously.

"You guys haven't talked about it?" Shizune asked with concern. Her crimson-eyed friend was always one to think ahead.

"We haven't talked about anything lately," Kurenai said, her eyes becoming somewhat distant. "He's hardly ever home. And when he is it's usually not for long or it's during one of my own missions."

"Being shinobi in a relationship is tough," the medic consoled sympathetically. Lucky for her she was usually assigned to be in the same squad during her Genma's missions.

"That's why I prefer just casual sex from time to time," Anko added honestly. Her look then turned more serious. "But you're better than that Kurenai. You deserve someone who will make you happy and keep you on your toes."

"Someone who will always be there for you," Shizune chimed in.

"Someone who you'll never be bored with,"

"Someone who you can talk to,"

"And someone who can give you great sex," the mesh-wearing woman concluded grinning.

Kurenai laughed and so did they.

"I love you guys," she said smiling and they finished up their breakfast. Later she would need some time alone. There was a lot her friends had given her to consider.

* * *

"_This_ is the place?" Kisame looked more pleased and surprised than judgmental but he was trying to come off as cynical and sarcastic. It had been a few days since he'd been in Konoha with these 'over-friendly and inspirational' people and he was hating the effect it was having on him. He was a cold-blooded killer for Kami's sake and he would _not_ be made into a village's over-sized love pet.

His companion of course never seemed to notice things like these and she smiled cheerfully and nodded.

"Yup, Ichiraku's!" she chirped, smiling at him. He tried to look uninterested but secretly he was loving this. Getting paid and a discount to delicious ramen? That was almost as good as his Akatsuki gig! "Do you remember?"

"Yeah but...do you really think they'll let me work here?" he was very skeptical. Other than the woman beside him he was sure everyone in the village disliked or hated him.

"I put in a good word for you," she said as a sweet-looking brunette came out of the shop smiling shyly. She was slender and wearing a white robe with the sleeves folded, a sort of dark blue apron with ribbon ties at the top and a bright white bandanna. She, he decided was quite pretty indeed. A solid 7, maybe even a 7.5 seeing as she could also cook.

"This is Ayame-san. Her dad owns the store but he's out right now so she'll be your boss today. Bye!" Shizune said smiling.

"Good luck with your date," the blue-skinned man smirked, and his friend blushed as she hurried away.

"Shizune-san said you're a hard worker," the young lady known as Ayame said, looking up at Kisame with those eyes he'd often seen women give his partner. It had been a long time since a woman had looked at him with those adoring, puppy-dog eyes. He was both touched and somewhat repulsed. "You look pretty strong too,"

He felt a little self-conscious as she appraised him with her soft brown eyes and then he remembered he was awesome and stopped being self-conscious. He worked out a lot and his very well-muscled body showed it. Especially in his sleeveless black muscle shirt. He tried to not flex his arms as they walked.

"So where are we going?" he asked.

"The fish market. We're going to try adding more seafood to some of our ramen dishes," she explained. She had him at fish market. He loved fish. Though his favorite foods were shrimp and crab he never turned down an opportunity to eat fish. He barely heard her as he imagined the delicious dishes. He did pick up a few things about her though. Like how though she came off as shy at first she was actually rather social and a fluent conversationalist (though he was doing little on his part to keep the conversation going). She was also cheerful and smiley and had decided opinions though was willing to hear others'. She was charming and friendly and her favorite color was lavender.

And he felt absolutely nothing for her. Though she was pretty and again, she could cook. He figured he could learn to like her though. These things take time, he thought to himself. They couldn't be rushed.

"Thanks for giving me the job and a place to stay," he said as they wee on their way back to the shop, a crate of delicious smelling shrimp in her arms and several large crates of raw fish in his. Altogether the load weighed a bit more than his Samehada but thanks to his training he handled the burden with no great difficulty.

"No problem," Ayame replied, blushing slightly as she made eye-contact for a moment with him before looking away. "Father said we could use some more muscle around the shop and since we rarely have any guests our guestroom is almost always available."

It was about an hour later when it came down to cooking that Kisame discovered the woman's deep, despicable secret.

"Eeeeew! Blood!" the brunette wailed as Kisame expertly skinned and filleted the fish. He gave her an incredulous look. When she'd asked him to prepare the fish he'd assumed it was because she had more experience with the other cooking processes to be bothered with the messy work but no..the woman was actually.._.afraid_ of it! He grimaced at her.

"You're seriously scared of blood?" he asked her critically. "Cooks can't be squeamish, Ayame,"

"Yes but Father usually deals with that gross stuff. I just do most of the noodle making and vegetable chopping!" she explained helplessly. And Kisame refused to pity her. She was obviously not the one for him.

He expected, if ever in a serious, committed relationship, to return from missions bloody and battered (only the best ones left him that messed up and delighted at a fight well fought), to be welcomed into the arms of a loving woman with promises of hot baths and cuddles. With Ayame, the best he could hope for is her not screaming bloody murder and passing out on the spot.

The idea of being with someone who couldn't stand something he loved so much as blood repelled him and he decided then and there that this was _not_ the girl for him.

...But later on when they were enjoying her unbelievably delicious _shrimp and crab ramen_, he was just about ready to reconsider.

* * *

"Dinner was good, babe," Asuma commented as he washed the dishes. It was Kurenai's turn to sit in the living room. But instead of on the couch in front of the tv she'd taken one of the kitchen table chairs and was sitting outside on the balcony. It was getting dark and she'd watered her plants already. Now she was just sitting there, thinking something over.

It had been almost a week since she'd last seen her 'assignment'- Hoshigaki Kisame had seemed to drop off the face of Konoha and she'd been to proud to inquire of Shizune his whereabouts. She tried not to dwell on where he was or what he could be doing. Asuma was off on another mission tomorrow and she'd neglected to spend more quality time with him. Nor had she brought up what she'd been meaning to talk to him about.

"I'm going to bed," she said after a while and headed toward the bedroom. She kissed her boyfriend when she passed him, a routine goodnight kiss that she'd long began to take for granted. He was never home, she thought, she should cherish those little things when he was here...

Almost an hour passed and Asuma had taken his cigarette on the balcony again and was drinking his evening glass of wine (a habit he'd taken up from her though he, like tonight, had decided to have more than one) at the kitchen table as he mulled over the current events page of his paper.

"We don't cuddle anymore.."

The well-built man looked up from his newspaper, startled. He hadn't heard his girlfriend come into the kitchen but there she stood. Standing in her red, silk night dress with her arms crossed and a pained frown on her face, she leaned against the wall.

"What?" he asked, a very confused look on his face. He hated seeing that look on her face but he had no idea what she was talking about.

Kurenai hesitated, something she'd never been accustomed to in her life but had been doing an awful lot lately. She pressed forward.

"We don't cuddle, we don't hold talk about our plans for the future, or go on dates, or anything anymore," Kurenai wasn't sure she was bringing it up/ But up until her friends had mentioned it, she'd never given it much thought. She had always figured that the terms including lack of intimacy and time together were just a part of any shinobi relationship. She never given that things could be different a second thought.

"Kurenai-

She shook her head, her lips pursed in resolution. "Let me finish. I know I said from the beginning that I din't want a lavish romance, that I was too down-to-earth for it- but recently..."

She faltered.

"..I've been missing you, a lot,"

Asuma stood up and stared at her. For once he didn't have a cigarette and he took advantage of that. Had he been able to sense what she wanted he would've taken her up into his arms and held her. As it was he walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Is that what's been bothering you lately?" he asked sighing and kissing her forehead. He'd always had a hard time reading into her deeper feelings, and it pained both him and their relationship. But she wasn't known as the master of illusions for nothing and to his credit, no one to his knowledge had been ever able to truly read her.

"Yes," she lied softly. She felt almost numb, as if she were moving in a dream. She leaned up to kiss him, soft, methodical, the familiar bristles of his beard against her cheeks bringing back memories of times when she'd been very much in love with him. But it was as if the fire in the two if them, that spark that had been quite prominent early on in their relationship, had died out. There was no fire except in the wine-induced passion of his kiss. No inkindling of her the feelings she once had, and it made her so very sad...

But she wasn't about to stop now. She'd been neglected for way too long and though it might not have been him she was exactly in need of, she knew herself to be very much lonely and in need of someone right then. So she continued to kiss him, even as he picked her up and brought her to their bedroom. And she decided to lose herself for the night, holding onto that hope that maybe they were still in love.

* * *

He was gone the next morning. Called away early for another important mission. Kurenai took solace in the coolness of the white sheets and the absolute darkness of the moments just before dawn. She sighed, burring her face into her pillow and wondering just what she had been thinking. Sex was all well and good but it had never been the problem between the two of them. Now it was the morning after and it was still as cold as ever on both sides of the bed. And there was still that empty space inside her.

She still was missing something that she was beginning to think Asuma couldn't give her...She was a fool is she had thought making love could make up for being in love. It's just that..he and her were so much alike. Both dedicated to their jobs and lives as shinobi, protective of their students and both always practical. Sentimentality and sensibility had always taken back seat to who they were supposed to be- shinobi.

Kurenai sat up in bed and reached for the hair brush on the night stand. A beautiful ebony-colored heirloom from her late aunt. She traced her fingers along the tiny rubies designed in the shape of a rose on the handle. It was lovely and probably the most expensive thing she owned. She and Asuma had decided early on that expensive gifts were impractical so she had few jewelry of her own. But this in itself was lovely and it was all hers. It needed no man to do it's job- no big, handsome comb that added little to its happiness however good it's love-making was.

Wait what?

Kurenai shook her head and sighed. Was she seriously comparing herself with a hairbrush. She pushed the sentiments aside as nonsense brought upon by lack of food- she'd skipped dinner last night- and began to brush her hair. The act alone never failed to soothe her, the rough bristles sliding through her silky locks. The smooth, repetitive motions as she moved it through her dark hair. She began to hum to herself, a lullaby that she'd long forgotten the name of but had been sung to her by her aunt.

Her mother had died when she was young and she had no other family than her aunt. Kurenai was taken into her care and though the woman hadn't been a shinobi she had raised the crimson-eyed girl to be both feminine and fearless...

Kurenai missed her terribly. Setting the brush down she walked, still completely naked, to the bathroom. Her make-up from yesterday was smudged and she turned on the faucet and grabbed a small towel. The warm water was relaxing and she considered taking a shower to enjoy it all over. She decided against it, it being more practical to wait after her morning jog. Wiping away her make-up she watched herself in the mirror.

Ever since she was young people had called her beautiful. She'd never really understood the meaning of it. They'd make compliments on her fair, soft skin and the sleekness and volume of her dark hair. As she grew the compliments increased now including mention to her developing figure and her feminine facial features. She'd started wearing make-up after she became a chuunin at age 13 and it had only increased the compliments. She'd gotten used to them over the years though her vanity had grown little.

The only thing she truly liked about herself was her eyes. The one thing that people avoided commenting on whether for fear or politeness. A couple people had asked her aunt if she was blind but most assumed it was part of a kekkei genkai, gifting her special abilities like clans Uchiha or Hyuuga. . Both wrong. It was just genetic. Her mother had crimson eyes and so did she, simple as that. And she liked them, no matter what people thought.

There was a knock at the door.

Asuma, she knew automatically. Come to say he'd cancelled his mission to spend the day with her. She smiled to herself and, disregarding her nudity, rushed to the door and opened it.

It wasn't Asuma.

"Aiaaahhh!" disregarding all modesty she screamed like a little girl, flushed red and dashed back into the bathroom. Leaving the very purple (pink mixed with blue)-face man standing in awe and on the verge of a nose-bleed.

When he'd finally calmed himself down enough to sit comfortably he stumbled onto the couch. And began thanking every god from every religion he could think of for blessing him with that view. Red was beautiful with clothes on, but seeing her without them.. he needed a cold shower. Even in Deidara's dirtiest magazines he'd never seen a woman more perfect.

"Hello...?" a hesitant voice called from behind the bathroom door. He looked up, alert as a meerkat.

"Red?" he was surprised to hear that his voice was slightly hoarse. He stood up and walked to the door, leaving the breakfast-to-go bag forgotten on the couch.

"You're still here.." it was more to herself than to him. There was a pause before: "Could you get me some clothes?"

Kisame blanched.

"Uh. Sure..." he walked to what he assumed was the bedroom and immediately scowled. The tell tale signs of female undergarments tossed aside and the tangled sheets were nearly unmistakable. The thought of someone- let alone _that man_- touching her made his blood boil and his inner-self nearly trembled with rage.

"Kisame?"

The sound of his name by her voice snapped him out of his blood-rage and he hurriedly picked up the laced red panties on the floor and the red nightgown on the lamp. She'd never said his name before and he was absolutely bewildered with the strange feelings it gave him.

"Here," he said gruffly and she stuck her hand out the door to take her clothes.

He then walked back to the bedroom and defiled the scene of the crime: he opened the window, grabbed all the linen and scattered clothes, tossed them into the hamper, grabbed the aerosol can on the nightstand and began to spray around 'sea-breeze dream' all over. According to him this horrible sex never happened.

Kurenai walked in just as he set the air-freshener down. She decided not to say anything about the room, to prevent anymore awkwardness. She looked actually..almost..ashamed? of the scene. Kisame raised an eyebrow at her. She was still beautiful, just..more innocent about it. Without make-up and fashionable clothes and her usual air of superiority and pride...he was conflicted with a sudden urge to hold her and to tell her to get herself together.

"I'm..sorry," she said awkwardly, cheeks still pink. He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging.

"No problem," he answered. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"I brought breakfast," he said. And she smiled.

A few minutes later they were at the round table in her kitchen laughing about something Anko did and for some reason it seemed like the most natural thing in the world for both of them. She thanked him for the Belgian waffles and eggs, he made a joke about her choice in the fruit she provided (strawberries and bananas).

"Do you have any milk? It feels like there's a smoothie in the making in my mouth," the shark man teased.

"Well don't eat them both at the same time," she chided, rolling her eyes but looking amused all the same. "And what's wrong with your orange juice?"

"Did you know that a strawberry's not even a berry, but a banana is?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

"That's ridiculous," she said as she lightly drizzled her waffle with sugar-free syrup.

"No it's true, I-

"No, I mean," she interrupted, a smirk curving her unpainted lips up. "It's ridiculous, that you would even know such a useless bit of information,"

He actually laughed. Because it was just like her to say something like that.

"Well it's a good conversation starter," he defended reasonably. She held back a smile and he took the opportunity to put some real syrup onto her waffles. Kurenai gave him an indignant look.

"You already look great so lay off the watching what you eat thing. It's so..teenage girl,"

And they just talked. They shared, they bantered back and forth, and they unconsciously lowered their guards and actually _talked_. He had never remembered having a breakfast so peaceful and upbeat. She couldn't recall having one with another man. He thought to himself how it was too bad she was already taken. She was beginning to see what Shizune meant about him not being so bad. In the end, it was good morning.

"So what are the plans for today?" she asked as he got ready to leave. She handed him a bottle of water and he grinned for the first time in a way that didn't seem condescending or smug or intimidating to her.

"The Yuugao-san thing isn't really working out since she's out on some mission. The rest of the ANBU are still watching me from a distance but that's fine, I got a job now,"

"A job? You?" she smirked, raising an eyebrow in a very Kisame-like way. He chuckled.

"Yep. I work at that Ichiraku Ramen place Shizune-san took me to my first night here. Free room and board and everything. Also, free girlfriend,"

Her frown made his nonchalant grin waver a little and he looked at her curiously.

"What?"

"Girlfriend?" Kurenai asked, trying not to sound too surprised. Or unhappy. "You and the..ramen girl?"

"Well it only lasted a few days," he explained shrugging. "I guess she's just not the one, you know?"

Her countenance unclouded and she nodded, as if understanding what he meant. And then he left, leaving Yuuhi Kurenai with a lot to think about.

* * *

_"The opposite of loneliness, it's not togetherness. It is intimacy." -Richard Bach_

**Sorry it took so long! Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed. Again sorry for the super delay. I thought summer would give me so much time to write. In reality, it's just made me more lazy...Reviews are appreciated and honestly, make me write faster.**


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